Effective immediately, any & all rude mail will be forwarded to this exclusive inbox:
{Burn, motherfucker. Burn.}
All hate mail will be printed out unread, pissed on by my dog, & burned in my kitchen sink. Its ashes will then be used to soil my vegetable garden.
If you are unsure of what constitutes a rude piece of mail (also see “hate mail”), here are some characteristics to guide you:
- Any email that states “Sorry if I’m/I’m not trying to be snarky/rude/mean/disrespectful/an asshole, but…”
- Any email containing impolite adjectives to describe this blog’s author. (Example: ignorant, ugly, nigger, etc.)
- Any email that attacks the personal opinions, stories, experiences, and/or lifestyle choices of this blog’s author, under the guise of “constructive criticism.”
- Any email with name calling, passive aggressiveness, and/or bullying within its contents.
- Any email that starts off provoking a malicious or argumentative conversation. (Example: “I just wanted to write to you asking who the fuck you think you are.”)
These are just a few examples of what might embody “hate mail.” If you are still unsure if your piece of mail fits the description of “hate mail”, it probably does.
As always, if you have any strong feelings of distaste or annoyance regarding this blog & its contents, I strongly suggest that you stop reading it.
Please & thank you.
Sincerely,
Admin