02|09|2010
photography.
“It is one thing to photograph people. It is another to make others care about them by revealing the core of their humanness.”
— Paul Strand
I’ve been really getting into photography lately. I suppose you could call it my new niche. Any time I’m behind the camera — or, more recently, in front of it — I feel excitedly overwhelmed with all of the artistic possibilities that could come out of my “work.” I love freezing moments in time to my liking, to my memory. I enjoy the sensation I feel when I get that perfect shot, when I manage to make an ordinary day extraordinary.
But I try to shy away from having this be a serious “thing” (hence, the quotations). I fear that if I label myself a “photographer,” it’ll dwindle my lust & commitment to it. I don’t want this lovely side project to be lost within my own perfectionism like most other things I’ve endeavored in. I have no desire to make a living out of being a photographer or to become a master at it. I just want to be, & in being, I simply want to take pictures.
This little hobby of mine has been taking off organically through my Project 365. There are some days where I have no motivation — or nothing new — to photograph, & those days end up being accurately depicted by less-than-intriguing pictures of my dinner. But on the days where I feel inspired & confident in my craft — the days where I’m actually paying attention to how fascinating this world is — I find myself compelled to capture those moments permanently with my camera. Usually, with that effort, the results surprise even me.
Throughout these 200+ days of my project 365, I’ve gotten an idea of my strengths & weaknesses, & I’m always trying to push myself to be a little more creative everyday. I want to try new things, perfect certain poses & angles. I want the picture to do the speaking without my having to explain anything. I’ve gotten pretty good at landscape shots; capturing the sky & fluffy white clouds will always be a favorite of mine, too.
Lately, though, I’ve been experimenting in portraits. Quite specifically, artful nude portraits of myself.
When I told Jonathan that I wanted to take artful nude photographs — which entails tasteful, elegant, & sometimes abstract depictions of the human body — he was very surprised. (I’m the girl that still covers up her naked body in the presence of her husband, after all.) But he was also quite curious. He asked me why I wanted to take these pictures; what my motive was. I told him that I had always found artful nude photography gorgeous, & I’ve always admired the people who took the plunge to do it. I told him that I wanted to test my own picture-taking skills — to experiment & get to know my camera — while combining my intrigue for artful nude photography, & who better to practice on than with myself?
As for my motive… I couldn’t really say that I have a specific motive. But I have gained an abundance of pride for being brave enough to do this. & it is because of that pride that I want to reveal my “work” to others. Perhaps to inspire, but hopefully to bring a bit of beauty into the world. To create art & not have it be seen by anyone else’s eyes is the loneliest outcome for any form of creative expression. The world needs more beauty; why would anyone ever want to deprive the world of that? I get immense joy & satisfaction knowing that my art is being appreciated, & my photography is no different.
So, I’d like to share it with you.
Please know that by showing these pictures, I am in no way trying to flaunt or exploit my body. I’m not trying arouse anyone, nor am I trying to be boastful or publicize myself in a way that will cause a ruckus. I’m only showcasing my art. No more or less than that.
I don’t particularly know if this would be deemed as “safe for work,” though I don’t see why not. The pictures I’ve taken are 100% tasteful. There are no “bits” showing or lewd positions. Just skin. Pure, unadulterated skin.
All of these pictures were taken by me with the help of my tripod & remote, which can be a little tricky. Trying to keep the poses natural while simultaneously trying to hide the remote isn’t particularly easy. Jonathan has offered to help me, but I stubbornly want to do this all on my own.
I am quite proud of these pictures. Just by delving into this little project, by taking these very intimate photographs of myself, I’ve seen just how pretty my body can be. When I look at these pictures, I don’t see cellulite or fat-folds or skin discoloration. I see a gorgeous female with a natural, delicate body. Seeing those things makes me appreciate & love me more.
I’m sure that these photographs will make some people question my integrity; namely my family, who openly read this blog. But part of me is deciding not to care. I think that nudity (not THIS kind of nudity, mind you) is taken too seriously in America, & I desperately want to destroy all of the taboos surrounding it… for my sake.
I happen to think that this is a one great way to do so.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 1:53 pm:
OMG. I can only say you have quite a bit of courage. A good photographer knows how to capture vulnerability, strength and beauty. And, I think that’s what you’ve done here. I’m excited to see what your artistic journey brings you.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 1:55 pm:
These pictures are really cool. Great that you are bold enough to showcase your art.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 2:12 pm:
Wow, hats off to you!
What I first want to say is, that I think you photographs are very beautiful. I love the poses, and I admire how you managed to shoot those pictures all by yourself.
I really like the second one, I think it has a kind of warmth to it that makes it look intimate, not just because you don’t wear any clothes.. ugh, I suck at explaining things like that.
As awkward/difficult it might have been for you to post this, it’s also not that easy to comment on, because I don’t want you to feel like I’m only staring at your naked body.
Which I technically am, but not in “that” way. Yeah.
What I like even more, though, is that you’re brave enough to post this. Brave enough to share these pictures, and brave enough to say that you wanted them and that you made them, not for anyone else to jerk off to. You should really be proud of yourself, those pictures are beautiful and artistic and you do have a rocking body :)
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 2:14 pm:
This are tasteful and gorgeous. Like a beautiful still in time.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 2:21 pm:
These photos are great. I’ve always been a fan of these kind of photos as well. The human body is wonderful and I’m glad that you have the courage to join in it as well. Great post. (:
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 2:21 pm:
Ev’yan, did you take these yourself of yourself? If so, that is really amazing in itself. If not, still, these are absolutely gorgeous. I’m the same way – I cringe at “porn nude” stuff but when it’s all about the shadows, curves, lines of a natural human body I think it’s stunning.
Thanks for sharing!
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 2:24 pm:
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but never commented; I have to tell you that you always find ways to capture me. Your photographs (and you) are exquisite.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 2:49 pm:
you’re amazing.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 2:49 pm:
I think its wonderful that you’re so growing much more confident with your body. I have to say I like them all, but the fourth one really stuck me. It’s really quite beautiful.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 3:04 pm:
First, I’m so very proud of you for posting these. I know you’ve been worried about it and toyed with the idea for a long time. They’ve turned out absolutely spectacular – artful, beautiful, and wonderful.
Second, I’d love to see how your photography progresses, particularly in this arena. I’m also a fan of tastefully-done nudes and the fact that you’re drawing empowerment from your own body makes me so happy! I can’t wait to see what more you do with your art.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 3:20 pm:
Absolutely beautiful.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 3:24 pm:
I think that these are gorgeous. Good on you for pushing yourself to be a better photographer, and also for being brave enough to post these for the world to see. You are amazing, chicka. :)
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 3:28 pm:
Just beautiful, I think there’s absolutely nothing objectable about those pictures. Even if you don’t wear any clothes, you’re not as naked as the advertisement girls @ American Apparel. You just show bare skin, a natural body & that’s what it is: natural. esthtetic. beautiful.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 3:39 pm:
Brava!
And, trust me, aside from the artistic nature of these photos, you’ll be so glad in 20 or 40 or 60 years to have these documents of the unique beauty of youth.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 3:40 pm:
Well done! My fav is photos #2 and #4.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 3:51 pm:
Stunning and very well done. I understand this interest completely. After doing about 6mo of the 365 Days project, I started experimenting with nude self-portraits. None of them anywhere near as good as these, mind you! But it was one of the most important things I’ve ever done for myself in my life. Interestingly, I met my husband (on Flickr) because he was doing the same thing….the first pictures I ever saw of him were nudes. But I must have gotten out of my system and now I’ve moved on to other things.
Keep letting your art flow through you. You have a gift and I think you can feel it within yourself. You owe it to yourself to let it do what it wants to do. Well done.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 3:58 pm:
holy mother Ev’yan! All the even number photos are my fave! :-)
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 4:04 pm:
To be honest, I think having nude images taken of oneself (whether others see it or not) is probably one of the most impressive and important things a woman can do for herself. It really shows us our bodies in a different light than what the mirror or our own eyes can see.
It’s also always interesting to see how people respond to nudity, and especially when it’s a woman photographer (or a woman showcasing her own nude body). The reactions vary so much, can seem so striking….
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 4:10 pm:
well written & well said. beautifully & tastefully photographed. i especially adore #2 & #5.
you know, as someone who is into photography myself (and i too hesitate calling myself a “photographer” – at least at this stage) i think you may have a knack for boudoir photography. the way you feel about yourself once you see these images. the way your appreciate your body more & gain more confidence – is something most woman would love to feel & have documented so they could feel this way too. something to consider…
feel free to hit me up on twitter & i can point you to some photographers blogs who do, in addition to other work, boudoir sessions. while not entirely nude (perhaps topless) the women always look extremely comfortable, confident & sensual – like you do.
bravo for having the courage to post these!
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 4:17 pm:
stunning. you’re gorgeous, as always, inside and out.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 4:33 pm:
These are absolutely beautiful! I admire your courage to do something like this.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 4:58 pm:
Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. And kudos to you for having the courage to do this. I applaud any girl who has the strength to accept their body, although with a body as beautiful as yours, I can’t see who wouldn’t accept it.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 5:11 pm:
I know you were nervous about posting this (hi Twitter, how are you?), but let me just tell you how wonderful (not to mention tasteful) these are.
You totally did it.
xo
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 5:38 pm:
Bravo for exuding pure confidence and beauty in these photos. The second one is my fave. Love love love.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 5:55 pm:
Absolutely tasteful & beautiful =]
#2, 4, & 5 are my favorites.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 5:58 pm:
Beautiful! Good for you for posting these… so many of us never could.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 6:19 pm:
Ev’Yan these pictures are amazing and elegant and as many have said, exude sheer confidence and beauty. I love it.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 7:12 pm:
Wow… I’m so amazed at the beauty of these pics…. You are so ballsy :) And I think that these are beautifully photographed and tastefully done. Your confidence, yet vulnerability is shining through in each photo.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 8:30 pm:
Ev, these are beautiful pictures. I think you’ve made it to the vulnerability threshold that so many artists speak of. I’m proud of your bravery and confidence, babe!
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 8:40 pm:
oh ev’yan… these are all so beautiful. i can’t imagine the guts it took for you to post these! really though, you’re beautiful (inside and out) and your photography really has the potential to take you to so many places. amazing, amazing.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 8:43 pm:
I’m so glad you decided to do this. I think that it’s tasteful and quite stunning. I hope you continue with it. Thank you for sharing!
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 9:39 pm:
Gorgeous. I love that photographs like this can really show you the most understated yet beautiful parts of the body. It almost makes me want to take up still life sketching. Wish I could do this myself, but after the effects of pregnancy it will take me awhile, I think. Kudos for finding the courage to share your art with us!
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 10:38 pm:
I love that you went ahead and posted these gorgeous photos. Part of me really want to do that, but another part of me think I should at least wait until I am not at risk (career-wise; as in I don’t have one yet). I’ve done some myself and kept them in a safe folder that only I can access. The tasteful ones where no specific parts are shown have been shared with a couple of my closest friends, and my boyfriend as well.
I especially love the one where your tattoo is showing. It stands out the most artistically for me.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 11:49 pm:
i read this post and i read your other post about american apparel ads. i understand both of your points but i don’t understand the difference other than suggestive posing? you mentioned something about being mindful of who would see american apparel ads (children) but don’t mind the images you are putting into your readers’ (young, old, strangers, familiar) heads. does it have to do with intent?
i hope you know i love love love your blog. i wouldn’t subscribe if i didn’t. and i would never come at this in “attack mode” because i see both of your points….but more clarity on this issue would be of interest. you can email me if you want. or don’t. i’m just curious.
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 12:43 am:
Absolutely love and admire your moxie, Ev’Yan. You are so beautiful!
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 12:58 am:
These are absolutely beautiful. I barely even see these as “nude”– you’re right, it’s just beautiful, beautiful skin. Congratulations to you for being able to showcase your raw beauty so well. And self-love & self-cherishing is always great :)
And cellulite is wonderful, too! Really.
Great photos, and you’re clearly quite creative as well.
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 1:26 am:
hiii!
Amazing post, these photos are gorgeous. You’re so brave to share on Internet nude pics, but it’s very good ‘cus they aren’t scandalous! I like the fourth photo, it’s so original. :D
What does Simone think???
xxx
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 3:47 am:
Wow, those are really gorgeous! You’ve got some talent there! And lots of guts!
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 9:13 am:
Ev’Yan, those pictures are beautiful and tasteful. I really like that you’re exploring that side of yourself. Keep going!
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 9:35 am:
i love this post, you’re gorgeous & so is your body.
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 10:57 am:
Bravo!
You look stunning in these photos and they are really well done.
We should all probably do something like this to help us love our bodies more.
Thanks for sharing with us!
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 11:13 am:
@ Mariangela: Ha, my mom told me that she freaked out for a moment & was thinking, “Has she lost her mind?!” But then calmed down a bit. I guess she’s accepted the fact that I’m going to do things that she doesn’t agree with or understand.
@ Cara: I think you raise a good point/question, & I’ve obviously gotten several comments (most of them left by cowardly anons) about this. I’m going to address your comment because yours was done in a non-attacking, generally curious kind of way.
I feel that there is a HUGE difference between my artful nudes (celebrating the human body) than the objectifying, porn-like advertisements of American Apparel. I actually think there is an obvious difference between the two, & I feel that if you (or anyone else, for that matter) can’t tell the difference, that’s fine; I don’t expect everyone to get my vision or my goal for doing this. But I’m definitely not about to waste time dissecting my pictures under a microscope vs. the inappropriate ads for American Apparel.
I hope I’m making sense. Please believe me that I’m not trying to be snarky back at you. I just don’t feel like I have to explain myself because the difference (not to mention the motive) is so blatantly obvious that if people don’t see that, I’m not going to tell them otherwise.
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 11:38 am:
Thanks for your response Apricot! I appreciated it!!!
Your follower
XXX
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 12:50 pm:
You should consider posing for a local art class.
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 2:28 pm:
Like I tweeted you earlier, these photos are EXQUISITE, I especially love #4 -stunning. You are such a brave & beautiful soul.
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 2:36 pm:
I love love love the 5th one! Keep it up!
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 3:52 pm:
Lovely photos! I especially like #5. Oddly enough, they seem somewhat familiar–perhaps because your skin tone is similar to mine–and I have to (vainly) say, I’ve always been somewhat enamored of my coloring.
I am hella impressed that
a. You took nude portraits of yourself and POSTED them. YES.
b. You took nude portraits of yourself. It takes me an hour just to get one decent self-portrait, and here you have six great shots.
on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 6:41 pm:
The second one and the fourth one are amazing! I stared at them like I was in an art gallery. Keep at it.
on Thursday, February 11th, 2010 at 12:13 am:
You are lovely, but you already knew I thought that about you. These exude a confidence that I don’t think most of us have, so props to you.
on Thursday, February 11th, 2010 at 5:53 am:
I admire your courage. You’re celebrating your body and if you haven’t felt it already it’s likely your confidence will benefit from it. Tasteful and art both, and your talent for photography is obvious.
on Thursday, February 11th, 2010 at 10:42 am:
Hey Ev’Yan,
Loved the pics esp 1, 4, 5 and 6. 1- because it doesn’t show perfection. The ever so slight lady tummy and the arch on your back giving you a fold of skin. This is real. And because so, beautiful. 4- what a fabulous pose…say no more. 5- it brings out my curiosity in the subject, (even when I know how beautiful your face is). 6- I love the way the profile of your face esp lips protrude from your arm, not to mention the beauty of the side boob ;-) At any rate well done you on putting these pics up. They are a testimony to your youth and bravery. Something that we don’t always have. Something that will be cherished by you and your loved ones as the days pass.
With this “shoot” being such a resounding success I wonder how it will change your perception and actions towards “(I’m the girl that still covers up her naked body in the presence of her husband, after all.)”
Viewing my partners nakedness as he showers,(our bed overlooks the shower) is one of the highlights of my day… Perhaps this is something that you will decidedly undress to address?
Continue to keep it real beautiful girl xx
on Friday, February 12th, 2010 at 12:50 am:
The second to the last one is absolutely beautiful. It’s graceful, it’s elegant, and it reminds me of something Edward Weston would take. A really great shot.
Ps – I love your writing. It’s refreshing and honest, and I’m definitely keeping this in my favs list to keep tabs on.
on Friday, February 12th, 2010 at 3:57 am:
You are a gorgeous girl and such an old and wise soul. I am glad that taking pics of youself makes you realize how beautiful and sexy you are, never doubt of that because you really are! Have a lovely week end and keep on showing us your wonderful pics :)
on Friday, February 12th, 2010 at 10:49 am:
I understand that this is art and you don’t see it as ”flaunting” but why would you NOT want to flaunt your physique. Right now there are millions of women packed into gyms and getting surgery trying to look like you. There’s nothing wrong with being sexy so you shouldn’t hesitate nor have doubts.
on Friday, February 12th, 2010 at 12:12 pm:
Accidentally found your blog and huge HUGE fan. thx!
on Friday, February 12th, 2010 at 5:25 pm:
beautiful images :)
so glad you decided to do this.
stay beautiful and strong!
on Saturday, February 13th, 2010 at 9:12 am:
I love the arched back poses you have…I’d say you’ve pretty much perfected those, you’re gorgeous. It’s so great that you’ve found something you are passionate about & also helps you hone your talent & self image at the same time. It allows you to be bold & confidant, which a woman like you should be seeing as you’re fabulous. ;)
Also, um, hello? Your boobs are awesome & I can’t even see all of them.
on Saturday, February 13th, 2010 at 10:15 am:
i am so proud of you, and i sincerely mean that! i remember the first time i ‘met’ you online.. you had emailed me and shared some things you’ve mulled over and thought about doing but haven’t had the courage to do. you’ve now done those things you emailed me about, including nude photography experimentation. a great way to not only explore your camera, but explore your Self! it’s truly amazing how seeing a picture of you can help with your self-esteem. you are gorgeous. my favorite is the upside down picture.
on Monday, February 15th, 2010 at 12:06 pm:
These pictures are really great! And now I’m thinking that maybe I’ll give some self portraits like this a shot while working on my own Project 365.
on Monday, February 15th, 2010 at 6:49 pm:
Both beautiful and tasteful. Wonderful photographs, Ev’Yan. xx
on Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 at 2:40 am:
You’re featured on a collage post on my blog, ciao :)
on Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 at 12:54 pm:
I think these pictures are wonderful and very tasteful. Who cares what the haters think?
on Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 at 3:57 pm:
That 5th photo is simply amazing, nothing short of. So beautiful. For heaven’s sake, you have to embrace this. You have a knack with the cam and as a model.
on Thursday, February 18th, 2010 at 1:30 pm:
You did an amazing job. These pictures are quite beautiful in a very tasteful way. I don’t think I would’ve had the courage, which makes me a little jealous of you, because these really are stunning. And reading the comments so many others agree. You carry yourself in such a positive and tasteful manner!!!
P.S. I hope you and your family have been well. =)
on Friday, March 5th, 2010 at 6:10 pm:
Beautiful! Reading this post and seeing those pictures made me feel like crying. This is how I exactly feel. And despite what society thinks, I love my body and the way it looks. I love how it’s strong and powerful.
I am so proud of you! And thanks for this.
on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 4:54 pm:
You are a beautiful woman and those are beautiful photos.