01|19|2010
Q&A with an illuminated mind; my husband.
Well, my dear readers; you asked, & he answered.
I think it’s only fair to note that this interview almost didn’t happen, due to my presumptuousness. Jonathan wasn’t too happy that I signed him up for an endeavor without his permission. But, after some convincing he relented. & I’m very grateful to him for being such a good sport & putting up with my antics.
I had intended for this little Q&A to be done on camera. I felt that taping him answering your questions would give you a better idea of who he is, what his mannerisms are, his sense of humor, & so on. But, it happened that writing out the answers worked better for his schedule. (Because unlike myself, Jonathan actually has shit to do, & important shit at that.)
So without further ado, I’d like you to meet Jonathan, my husband.
— — — —
[personal]
Do you like to be called “Jon”?
I don’t mind if someone does on accident, but I don’t prefer it. I like all of my name — Jonathan.
What were you like as a child? (favorite books/tv shows/games/etc)
I think you’re asking more what did I like rather than what was I like so I’ll answer the former. I really liked anything by Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein; those were two of my favorite authors. As for TV shows: Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers… I think pretty much all the shows kids typically watched. I didn’t really have any favorite games, but I liked playing with Legos a lot.
If you could be any fruit, which fruit would you be?
An orange, because it’s juicy.
If you found out you had 3 days before the world was going to end, how would you spend your last 3 days?
I would spend it with my wife, and family of course. I would also want to be in nature.
If you had to listen to one song on repeat for forever, what would it be?
A song that’s 4 minutes of nothing.
Favorite meal: Vegetarian taco salad.
Favorite musicians/singers/bands: Amon Tobin, Tool, Soundgarden, Manu Delago, and Pink Floyd come to mind.
Favorite books: One City, A Wild Sheep Chase, Purple Cow, Peace is Every Step
Favorite animal: Panther.
When you’re not writing, what are your favorite things to do?
Spending time with Ev’Yan of course. We get in to all kinds of trouble. I also like to hike, practice Jeet Kune Do and gymnastics, and read. I’m a voracious reader, and I love to learn new things.
What does the tattoo on your back mean?
It’s the Om symbol, which represents the entire spectrum of sound, or the eternal energy of the universe.
[on being married]*
When and how did you know Ev`Yan was the woman you wanted to marry?
I think it wasn’t more than a few weeks after we met. I knew because there was nothing I wanted to change about her.
What is your favorite thing about Ev`Yan’s looks?
Everything. She has beautiful big brown eyes, perfect lips, amazing skin; the composition of her features is amazing. There’s nothing I don’t like, so it’s hard to say my favorite thing.
List three habits of Ev´Yan’s that you adore the most:
1. How she randomly sits on my lap, no matter if I’m working or not.
2. When she steals my shirts/clothes.
3. She always thinks of me when making decisions, and considers how I feel.
What is your favorite thing about married life?
Knowing that I have someone to share everything with. I confide in Ev’Yan with everything. We share every celebration, disappointment and everything else in between.
How do you feel about Ev`Yan’s issues with sex?
I’ve come to understand it a lot better. At first I would get frustrated easily, but I’ve learned a lot. I know that it’s not about me, and I don’t have to take it personally, that definitely helps. I feel OK with it now because we’re working through it. It’s something that takes time to heal and I know that we’re both committed to creating the type of intimacy that we want.
Mother in laws tend to get a bad rap. Was there ever a fear or uncertainty that you would butt heads with me (your mother in law)?
I don’t think so. Maybe most guys feel that way, I’m not sure. But I never did. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up with so many women in my life (I have four sisters).
[his unconventional life]
Where did you find the courage to quit your day job and reclaim your dreams?
From my integrity. I knew that if I didn’t follow my dreams I would never feel like I lived up to my full potential. I guess that scares me more than anything. The life unlived, the love unrequited. That motivation is more “away-from”. But there was a lot of “toward-type” motivation as well: knowing that I’d be fulfilled. And if you want that enough, I guess you’ll find the courage somewhere.
Does you ever wish you had a regular 9 to 5 job again?
Not once.
Do you see blogging as a relatively permanent fixture in your world as a means of expression, the way an artist sees painting or an actor sees theater?
Yes. I’ve started to transform the way I see many things in my life as more of an art or a practice. Blogging is one of those things.
Were you a vegetarian before you went [raw] vegan?
Yes. I’ve been vegetarian for eight years. I’m not actually vegan anymore, but for a short period of time in 2009, I ate completely raw and vegan. Now I eat about 70% raw and about 90% vegan. But always 100% vegetarian.
Why did you decide to eat raw vegan foods? What books/people persuaded you?
I was first influenced by reading Steve Pavlina’s 30 day trials on eating raw. After that I started exploring more books and blogs, and learning more about it. Kevin Gianni’s blog is one of my favorites.
Have you noticed any positive changes since you’ve been raw vegan? Any struggles?
As I mentioned earlier, I’m not 100% raw vegan anymore. I eat about 70-80% raw vegan food, with the rest being cooked vegetarian food. With that said, yes, I absolutely notice positive changes. By increasing the amount of raw food you eat by any amount will create a difference. I feel lighter, more full of energy and have a greater overall sense of well-being when I eat raw.
Does you have any tips for starting out and transitioning into being vegan?
Start small. Maybe shoot for just breakfast first, then breakfast and lunch. Then, gradually transition to eating vegan breakfast, lunch and a few dinners a week. Let it take a year or more if you need it to. Slow and steady progress creates lasting change better than anything else.
From a vegetarian’s perspective: why do you think the chicken crossed the road?
To get away from the butcher.
[his point of view]
What are your spiritual beliefs?
I believe that we’re spiritual beings having a human experience. I believe that life is eternal, and we are the energy of the universe. I believe that in reality, there is no separation.
Do you believe in the Law of Attraction?
I believe in it, but I don’t like the way things like The Secret and other people market it. They tend to come from an overly materialistic perspective, which in the end will not make you happy, no matter how well you manifest things.
Do you believe in man-made climate change?
To be honest, I don’t really know. I do know that the way most of us live is not very good for the health of life on our planet. I don’t buy that “save the planet” shit. If anything, by being more environmentally aware, we are saving ourselves. The planet will be just fine whether or not we’re here.
What do you think will happen in 2012? (She basically wants to know if you think the world is going end in 2012.)
I think this link sums it up well.
— — — —
Jonathan is a self-proclaimed juggernaut. He hikes rough terrain barefoot, practices the art of Jeet Kune Do, & is currently perfecting a one-armed pull-up, all while leading “a social movement of people liberating themselves through living on their own terms.” He recently wrote a free ebook titled The Zero Hour Workweek, aimed at helping people get paid to do what they love for a living. Check out the revolution he’s starting at his blog, IlluminatedMind.net.
*I pretty much melted into a swoon-puddle reading this entire section.
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 11:45 am:
This is an altogether lovely, and incredibly inspiring post. You two are just adorable.
I’ve been a vegetarian for *counts on fingers* going on 14 years now. I ooze in and out of veganism, and often contemplate going raw, at least for a while. The clarity of mind I experienced when I stopped eating meat was amazing, and I know that going raw would have to enhance that.
Unconventional. Sounds really tempting.
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 11:51 am:
HA. That 2012 comic pretty much sums up my feelings too!
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 11:52 am:
I love you guys. =D
Great answers, Jonathan!
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 1:53 pm:
I wish there more Jonathans in this world to go around.
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 1:57 pm:
Loved this.
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 5:40 pm:
this is really good… I really like his thoughts on climate change. I believe that the world is more complex and self-sufficient than people give it credit for. The world will be fine. I believe we should concentrate more on being conscious of what we eat and how we live our lives… learn to lessen and dispose of waste, eat and buy local and use what we have with more care.
This is very insightful and beautiful.
I’m now a bit more curious of trying out a raw diet slowly and will definitely check out the links.
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 6:06 pm:
what a great idea, great questions and great sport to actually answer them. the only question i have left now is: “Did you have him close his eyes since he always closes his eyes anyways (in photographs)?”
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 7:00 pm:
@ sanslimites: No… Jonathan actually blinked in that picture (like he always does). But I felt that the picture was serene in a way, so his eye closed was okay. :]
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 8:20 pm:
Your husband is a lovely soul and you seem to fit together very well.
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 8:27 pm:
I completely agree with thatShortChick. You found a gem, Ev’Yan; you’re both incredibly fortunate and I”m grateful that you continue to share it all with us. May you continue to grow together, in synchronicity.
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 8:37 pm:
Aw lucky you! He seems great.
on Tuesday, January 19th, 2010 at 10:54 pm:
I’ve just stumbled upon your blog and I’m so glad I did. You’re posts are so honest and moving. Plus, you’re absolutely stunning! Good luck with your marriage and everything that comes your way.
on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 12:07 am:
i’m rather disappointed. my question wasn’t answered. the rest of the interview was great though.
on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 12:52 am:
@ beccap: I’m so sorry that your question wasn’t answered. There were several other questions that weren’t answered, if that’s any consolation. I, personally, wish he would have had time to answer them all, because they were so good. But, unfortunately, he only had time for as many as he answered here.
If you’d like, I can have him answer that question personally to you, via email. There were 2 other questions that were rather personal that Jonathan will be answering them via email. If you’d like, he can add yours to the list! Just let me know. :]
on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 7:56 am:
Hey :)
I come over to your site every now and then just to check the newest blogs and this one was really great!
Jonathan seems to be a really great person and you two are really, really lucky to have found each other! :)
I wish you all the best! :)
on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 9:24 am:
This is my favorite part: “I knew because there was nothing I wanted to change about her.”
I’ve also been told repeatedly to see The Secret, and my interest is further piqued. I’d love to sit and pick his and your brains about more of that. Great interview, I’m as always, in love with you and your love. :)
on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 3:14 pm:
I have been subscribed to your blog for a while but I haven’t commented before. Having read your posts and now some of your husband’s writing via his ebooks and such, I wanted to let you know how inspiring you both are. Both of you write with such sincerity that you can feel and I appreciate it, especially now when people get swept up with how other people perceive them. Thank you for writing and keep doing what you are doing.
on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 10:47 pm:
Your husband is awesome and definitely a keeper! You two are so cute together! :)
on Thursday, January 21st, 2010 at 12:30 pm:
this was a delightful read!
I knew because there was nothing I wanted to change about her.
that made my heart melt! :)
you two are great together- keep it up!
on Thursday, January 21st, 2010 at 4:26 pm:
I loved this post so much.
He’s right – you are SO stunning. I know it’s silly, but I keep thinking one of these days, I click over here to see you announcing some modeling work.
:)
on Thursday, January 21st, 2010 at 10:46 pm:
This post, particular the “on marriage” part made me all gushy over here. It’s obvious how much he loves you and that’s just so great :)
Also? Pretty great that he likes Soundgarden. i’m glad people haven’t forgotten who they are!
And I’m intrigued by “Peace is Every Step.” I’m adding it to my list!
on Friday, January 22nd, 2010 at 10:43 am:
You got yourself a very cool guy.
I think we’d be friends.
on Friday, January 22nd, 2010 at 11:27 am:
hiii honey!!!
i like these answers :D
waiting for another post
ps: I sent you a email (5-6 days ago)(i dont know if it’s right or wrong), i hope you can answer me, even if i know you’re busy!
affectionately
xxx
on Sunday, January 24th, 2010 at 12:32 pm:
wait; no interracial couple questions? as a mulatto product of a biracial couple, i call bullshit. there’s no WAYYY this topic hasn’t been brought up, in your relationship and from outsiders. and if it hasn’t, it certainly needs to be discussed. start this over so I can ask the real questions.
on Sunday, January 24th, 2010 at 12:37 pm:
@ alexis b: If you have any questions regarding our interracial relationship, I’d be happy to answer them! :] As I mentioned before, Jonathan is a busy guy with important shit to do, & he simply couldn’t answer every single question. But since I’m one half of our marriage, I can oblige. Just let me know what you’d like to know!
on Sunday, January 24th, 2010 at 1:18 pm:
1.) Have you always been predominantly attracted to white men? Not saying you discriminate, but it’s natural to have preferences. As a child, when you saw yourself getting married, was it to a white man? If so, what about white men attract you?
2.) I’d also like to ask Jonathan the same question in reverse.
3.) I don’t know ANY of my white side because they don’t believe in mixing races and therefore refuse to acknowledge me and my brothers, (they do however, have a healthy relationship with my brother who is full white) I could walk past my grandma and wouldn’t even recognize her. So I must ask how your family feels about this? Distant relatives and all? Even if their true feeliings are just shown subliminally?
4.) Mulatto children never feel fully accepted by either of their ethnicities. They will be made to believe they’re not black enough for their black friends and not white enough for their white friends. At an early age they will face obstacles like constantly being asked ‘what are you?’, having to check ‘other’ on state tests when asked their race, and just petty things like having to choose between a white barbie and a black barbie. Have you two discussed the confusion your children may endure and how you will handle it?
5.) Have you and Jonathan faced any backlash from being an interracial couple? Examples?
on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 4:08 am:
I literally just said “I hate you” out loud when I saw your husband. I am GREEN WITH ENVY.
on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 5:44 am:
I just spent the last 40 minutes going through a bunch of your blog posts and I cannot tell you how happy to have found you. You’ve reminded me of a part of myself that has been dormant for such a long time. I’m still trying to wake that girl. Its incredible all of the things that can happen to you in life — how much can change and how much can remain the same. It is easy to forget and just find a routine that is so painfully mundane, you become comfortably numb. For such a long time, I was functioning this way. But these shameful metaphors kept(keep?) reminding me of what I once was and what I’ve become.
blahblahblah — I’m just happy I found your blog. <3 Maybe my life can finally make a sound.
on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 7:42 am:
That is interesting that there were no interracial questions…maybe a good thing. It certainly didn’t pop in my mind when I saw that you were married to a white man. As a black female I think its pretty awesome, especially seeing how much love the two have with each other. In addition, you never seemed to have focused on race being an issue either. Just two people who fell in love.
But Alexis has sparked my curiousity. I would like to know if race has been an issue in some way? Hopefully one day race will no longer be an issue but I think until everyone is just one race then there will always be some sort of strife. And even if there was one race, there would always be some way to separate due to differences. Maybe thats just human nature?
Also, great to see my questions were answered! Your hubby seems like a great guy! I am sure to match what an awesome wife he has as well.
on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 2:07 pm:
So inspiring! Thanks for answering all of these questions, Jonathan.
ps ~ love the photo.
on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 3:27 pm:
I’ve been a long time reader of your blog and one of the reasons I find you so interesting is because of your interacial marriage. I’m of mixed race ( African American father and Caucasian mother) and am engaged to the love of my life who happens to be white. I’ve never encountered any opposition to us being together by family or friends but I worry someday I will. I feel it’s not as accepted for black women to be with white men as it is the other way around and it makes me happy to see a couple similar to us going strong. thank you for being so open and running this amazing blog.
on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 5:37 pm:
Well, THAT was a bit out of pocket.
It is possible that some people can be attracted to qualities in people before they consider race. Being that I personally KNOW Ev’Yan, I can attest that she is that kind of person. It is possible for someone’s family to not be racist and disapprove of an interracial relationship; if you’ve followed Ev’Yan’s blog for a while, it has been made plain that their families act accordingly.
You situation growing up might not have been ideal but, without knowing you, I’m pretty sure you have friends that you don’t have to be “black enough” or “white enough” for.
Honestly, I think this was completely invasive, unnecessary and probably the most backlash they have received as a couple. That’s probably because they don’t have racist families or friends, but I could be wrong…
on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 5:38 pm:
[...] I posted Jonathan’s interview, a small discussion was started in the comments section. One person in particular wanted to know [...]
on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 7:13 pm:
I’ve been reading Illuminated Mind for about a month or so and have drawn a lot of inspiration from the site. Thanks to both of you for this interview, and for sharing so much of yourselves.
On another note, I’m completely jealous that Jonathan does gymnastics–I WISH I could get back in the gym! Please tell me there’s a trampoline and/or pommel horse involved!
on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 1:22 pm:
This is a really compelling profile, and I’m pleased as pie that my question made it in. And it goes without saying, but way to host a hot button discussion — and without even trying! ;)
on Saturday, January 30th, 2010 at 12:21 pm:
Wow. I am a fan of Jonathan’s writings. I enjoyed his guest posts in Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits blog. His views are very modern and definitely non-traditional. And he’s in great shape too! More power to you guys.
on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 2:14 am:
I.love.this :D What an intelligent man!