cape dress, Cali; tights, Target; vintage shoes, from Alicia; cardigan, Ruche.com
I’ve come to the conclusion that people care more about what I write than what I wear. I say this because of the obvious observation: I get much more comments on my written posts than my fashion ones (& I am very, very grateful for that). & while I could easily become flustered at that idea — & I almost always do — I stop & ask myself this question: Would you rather have it the other way around? That people have more to say about your outfits (materialism, vanity, gluttony) than heartfelt compositions?
& the answer is almost always No.
Seven day left until Christmas. Where did the time go? I’ve actually gotten most of my Christmas shopping done, with the exception of Jonathan’s presents. I had thought I was done, until he told me I’m getting 7 presents this year; one of those being my anniversary present. Now I’m extremely worried because I’ve only gotten him 4 presents, none of those being an anniversary present. But with our account having been overdrawn this morning — which has NEVER happened before — I’m afraid that 4 gifts will just have to do, much to my dismay.
It seems like everything is hitting us all at once this month like a ton of bricks. Problems with Lola (our car), who decided to be a jerk & fail her smog test; T-Mobile bitch-slapping us with an astronomical bill (over $300); not to mention the fact that it’s bloody Christmas, & we’re naturally going to do a bit of indulging (Big Buddha, presents between the two of us & my family, holiday cards & postage, etc.).
Needless to say, I’m fucking stressed. & I hate money.
& now comes the point where, instead of stressing & beating myself up about how much I’ve spent this month, I reason:
It’s alright, love. We all make mistakes, & the account being overdrawn is not your fault. Christmas is coming (as is your 2nd wedding anniversary!), so look forward to that, rather than seething & lamenting about money. Again: everything will be okay. Just breathe & try to forgive yourself.
It seems silly, but I sometimes give myself pep-talks. & I have a feeling this particular talk will last the entire month of December.