[disclaimer: The following is a very candid, very explicit composition of my sex life. So to passersby & subscribers: if you are not at all comfortable with honest, sexual dialogue -- or if you're in some way related to me (this includes you, Mommy) -- feel free to disregard this post. Of course, all are welcome to read it. I just wanted to give you a fair warning. & for those of you who might be asking, "Why talk about something so extremely personal?", I say: Because it's time to stop being hush-hush about something that we all do, that we all experience. It's time to be honest. & through my honesty, I hope you will be comforted.]
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I’ve mentioned before that sex (intercourse, forking, boning, what have you) does not come naturally for me. Rarely do I feel sexy & never have I called myself a nymphomaniac. I’m the kind of girl who, when she gets the “urge”, waves it off & chooses to read a book instead. It’s much simpler to read a book, I think. Jumping my husband’s bones — or even taking matters into my own hands — is often much more complicated. It requires time, it requires effort, & it requires enthusiasm. Very seldom do I have all three. I would much rather go to sleep than invest my already diminished energy into a sweaty sack session with Jonathan. What’s even more awful is that I sometimes relish in my having period, blissfully relieved that I have a tangible, truthful excuse to say, “Not tonight, Honey.”
& if someone gave me the choice between having passionate sex with my husband, or eating a slice of dense, fudge-like chocolate cake… I would pick the chocolate cake without a moment’s hesitation. Even in spite of my husband being devilishly handsome & clearly resembling Jonathan Rhys Meyers, I would almost always choose the chocolate cake. Not because I abhor sex, & not because there is something wrong with my husband (on the contrary!), but because I feel that chocolate cake is on a much higher level of goodness, lusciousness, & indulgence than sex. Quite frankly, I get more pleasure from eating a slice of chocolate cake than from sex alone.
(& I wouldn’t be so inclined to admit all of this if I knew that there aren’t people [women] out there who feel exactly as I do. & there are.)
Because of my colorful opinions about sex, it’s no wonder that I tend to view it as more of a chore than actual playtime between Jonathan & I, as it should be. & this is precisely why we’ve been stuck in a sexual stalemate for over a year; probably one of the most daunting & worrisome events to happen in a marriage.
The result of my unassertiveness & lackadaisicalness regarding sex was that Jonathan was no longer coming onto me anymore. Why should he, when he was constantly being turned down? My sweet, darling husband began ignoring his own sexual urges. He began to give up on sexual intimacy as a whole, at the compromise of my passivity. Knowing this, seeing this, made me feel like I should have been crowned The Lousiest Wife of the Year. I was absolutely miserable knowing that he was miserable, in spite of me being somewhat okay at the fact that we weren’t having sex.
In my defense — which isn’t at all excusing my actions — I felt that it would be even more terrible of me to force myself to have sex, when I really, truly didn’t want to have it. To fake it, to grin & bear it, would leave me feeling used, resentful, & melancholy; not to mention, the sex would be lackluster & indifferent. (& here, I am speaking from personal experience.) I didn’t want that, Jonathan didn’t want that, but it was almost inevitable. & no matter how hard we tried to put our heads together to come to a happy medium, we could never seem to make it work. One of us was always left feeling gypped. It seemed much easier to not have sex than to have sex at all.
Who would have thought that sex could be so damn complicated.
Several weeks ago, we tried once more to talk rationally about this, with the hopes of coming to a satisfying compromise. Jonathan was rather hopeful. I, on the other hand, was indignant. I remember being so frustrated that we were on this topic again, with nothing to show for it. We were going around in circles, not improving our last few steps, & having this conversation was a bitter reminder of that. It was also a bitter reminder of how much damage I was causing.
Nevertheless, we discussed our options.
Jonathan: We could go to sex therapy…
Me: We’ve done that before, & it didn’t do anything, obviously.
Jonathan: We could go to a couple’s retreat in the mountains, or something…
Me: Those are too expensive.
Jonathan: Well then, maybe we could… be abstinent, & just not have sex at all.
Me: What? Are you kidding?! No! Absolutely not.
I could tell that Jonathan was at his wit’s end, & I had been at mine for the last several months. What else could we do? Nothing, it seemed.
After a long pause, I frustratingly blurted out, with tears streaming down my cheeks:
Me: You know what… We don’t need sex therapy, we don’t need a couple’s retreat in the mountains. We’re two, young, healthy individuals, madly in love with each other. We just need to fuck.
Jonathan looked startled, as if my suggestion was unexpected & unheard of. (& it was.) But it was the most blatant answer to our problem; someone just needed to bloody say it. & surprisingly enough, that personal was me.
& then it hit us. Once that bold (& quite vulgar; pardon me!) declaration was uttered, we finally saw how much pressure we were putting on ourselves about sex; myself, specifically. We finally realized how much we were over thinking something that is supposed to be so simple. We finally understood what we needed to do to fix this. We needed to stop talking about it, stop thinking about it, & just have sex for Heaven’s sake.
& we did.
That night, we were intimate for the first time in several weeks. We stayed up until three in the morning, talking, laughing, canoodling. It was beautiful. It was fun.
I remember the next day, I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. I couldn’t stop kissing him, or complimenting him on how attractive he was. I felt immensely close to him. My entire body just radiated with the love we had made the previous evening, & much to my surprise, I was looking forward to getting him into bed again that evening.
& I did.
Now, this isn’t to say that our — my — troubles with sex are over. Even while writing this, I was conflicted as to whether or not I should be writing in past or present tense, because some of the things I’ve mentioned above still stand; others are a work in progress. Today, for instance, at this present moment, I still feel like sex is more of a bother than an enjoyment. Not to mention, I am still dealing with stereotypical self-esteem issues in regards to my body & how I feel about sharing it with my husband. But those things, I have realized, are all based on years & years of preconditioned, incorrect judgments towards sex. I can’t expect them to dissipate so suddenly. In time, I’m sure those negative thoughts will be filtered out of my conscience, as I continue to work diligently on them.
As for us as a couple, sometimes we “forget” to have sex, for the simple reason that our schedules & frames of mind are different. Sometimes he would like to read a book; sometimes I go to bed before he does; sometimes we would much rather cuddle in bed.
Regardless of what we do (or don’t do), I’ve learned — quite the hard way — that it is our choice; a choice that neither of us should feel guilty about. I’ve learned that it’s senseless to spend time counting the days since I was last intimate with my husband. Life happens; it’s inevitable. What matters most to me is that we’re genuinely making an effort to stay intimately connected. (& I am sure as hell trying my damnedest.) Because we can express our love for each other in different ways. Sex (intercourse) is not the only way.
& to you, my reader, I have to say that I didn’t tell this story in vain. I desperately needed to get this off of my chest, but I mainly wanted to YOU to know that you are not alone. I especially want to break down these wretched walls regarding sex, something we all do & have struggles with. I find it so strange that we can so easily talk about the troubles we’re having in our lives, but when it comes to sex, everyone keeps it within. I’ve made a personal vow to myself to no longer do that, no matter how graphic my predicament might be. My only hope is that my story has provoked a courage in you that is contagious for others.
& if you ever need anything, I want you to know that I am here for you.
Also consider that women don’t come into their sexual prime till around 30 and it gets stronger from there. I used to hate sex and felt the same as you at your age, now in my 40′s I am like a teenage boy when it comes to wanting sex. My boyfriend, 14 years younger than I, can hardly keep up with me. My thoughts about sex are constant. So point being, don’t be surprised if at some point Jonathan is saying “slow down girl, jeezz.” seriously.
i have nothing more to say then simply: <3
There is a sizable pressure on couples to have a “healthy sex life.” The thing that isn’t made clear is that “healthy” really depends on the two individuals, not one what society tells us. I always thought that “regular” sex was “healthy.” I’ve learned, now that I’ve been in a significant and positive relationship for years, that “regular” is bullshit. As is “healthy.” (Hence the quotes, obviously.) The challenge, with sex as with many other stigmatized societal subjects, is to determine what is right for you, for your partner, and to shut out all the other things that might come into our minds. It’s wonderful to hear your experience and to know that breaking all the stigmas is becoming more common. Of course, the stigma is no longer just “don’t talk about it” or “that’s not proper,” it is now a matter of screwing like bunnies–that’s what couples are supposed to do.
I’m glad you wrote about this Ev’Yan. Your words will reach many and the subject will, hopefully, one day, become more commonly accepted. Not all marriages and relationships consist of everyday sex. And that is absolutely okay!!!! I think it can be wonderful (it has been for me).
Sex is such a struggle for many couples—I’ve been in a few relationships where it’s been a point of contention, and I know many, many friends have similar issues. I love that you posted so honestly about your journey—I wish you and your husband all good things as this journey unfolds! xo
I’d just like to say that this works the other way as well. I have a really high sex drive and really enjoy sex, sometimes to the point that my boyfriend can’t keep up (much to his chargrin) but like you said it’s all about communication and being willing to talk about the issues and want to solve them.
I hope you continue to have as much fun and enjoyment out of solving your problems!
I hope things get better. It seems like you’re really having a hard time. I hope you work on these issues though as sex is huge in a relationship especially marriage.
thats incredibly honest and i love that you wrote this.
there is so much pressure on wives to be able to ‘do it all’ and that included having and maintaining a ‘healthy’ sex life.
its all about the communication in a relationship and the intimacy shared between a couple rather than the number of times they are intimate.
thanks for this.
loves.
Good on you for posting this, hey. For putting something SUPER personal out there for others to see. I think it’s really brilliant that you saw that you were overthinking things, putting too much pressure and meaning into the idea of having sex . . . sometimes that’s a really difficult thing to disregard. I’m glad things improved for you guys :)
I greatly admire your honesty and openness in sharing this as you have no doubt reached others who have experienced something similar. And kudos to you for continuing to explore what is true for YOU and your husband, not what the world tells you that you should be doing.
You’re beautiful, inside out. xoxo.
Excellent post.
I am sure that your doctor mentioned to you that a very common side effect of the pill can be a super low libido. You may want to talk to him/her about getting a pill with a lower dose of estrogen. Sorry, I remember you have doctor issues, but it may be worth a chat. Good luck darling.
I am not currently having this difficulty, but a few years ago, I was. My ex-boyfriend wanted to have sex almost daily. Though I enjoyed the act itself, it was much more of a bother to me than anything else. (Yes, I would have preferred a decadent slice of chocolate cake on a many of days.) In my case, I think it was an issue of general chemistry/attraction between us or rather, the lack thereof–a “i-just-wasn’t-that-into-him-(after)-(all)” situation.
This was a great, candid post. As always, thanks for sharing in your eloquent way. I echo doniree: kudos to exploring and making the moves to preserve your relationship. It’s wonderful. Just think of all the couples who don’t even try, who don’t even know how to start trying.
Thank you so much for this post! I have been reading your blog on and off for a while now and this is the first time I’ve commented.
I often feel somewhat of an outsider when it comes to sex. I’ve always tried to be open and honest as much I can with those around me about it and enjoy being apart of this important dialogue. Still, it can be really hard for me to reconcile this open and engaging dialogue with the fact that I am a 25-year-old virgin and it seems hard for others as well too. I’m often met with, “really, I can’t believe you’re a virgin!” etc after a long discussion. It can be a challenge to remember that I am sexual and I am empowered even if I don’t fall in line with cultural normatives.
Anyway, I’m not sure what the point of that was but you just inspired me to share!
Thank you <3
I admire you for writing this post and sharing this with other people who are not alone in this.
I have a friend who has low libido because of the pills she’s on. Maybe that’s something you can see your Doctor about?
I just wanted to say thank you for being so candid and open. I actually have the the exact opposite problem of yours: I have a high sex drive and my husband, well not so much. But I know where you’re coming from.
Whoa to put something like that out there so privte and personally for the world to read take’s a lot of guts in my eye’s. If it wasn’t for men and women like you who are brave enough to talk about such a cadid topic so openly,then im sure alot of people who are in that situation might just feel a little bit alone in the world. So thanks for not only a great read but for giving me something to think about if i ever have to go through it.
Ps im glad to see that u and your man did have a happy ending and i wish you guys all the best.
Wow. This is absolutely crazy that you just wrote about this. First, let me just say, I’ve been reading your blog for a while now & thing you are the most wonderful, strong, beautiful woman. But, my jaw literally dropped as I read this. My boy & I have been struggling over our sex life for the exact same reasons. And, last night we had a rather huge fight because of it. I had been struggling to explain to him that it wasn’t he who was the problem & that I just wasn’t that sexual of a person. He didn’t understand it!
So, last night as we were going to bed, I just decided to start kissing him & one thing led to another. And, for the first time in a few weeks, we had sex & it was amazing & pressure-free! It IS comforting to know I’m not alone out there. I think it’s amazing that you would write about this now. I guess all of this is to say thank you & that I wish you the best! :)
Thank you for posting this. I feel much like your husband in my relationship. And your honesty has given me something to think about, as to how my wife probably feels.
Thankyou
Your honesty and willingness to be open, in such a public forum, is so…beautiful. I’ve felt the same way, for such a long time. And sex just seems to be a such a taboo subject now, that people trivialize it to a point where talking about it; seriously having a discussion about intimacy on both a physical and emotional level can’t be. It’s like you’ve read my mind and put it into the perfect set of words. It’s amazing, so I just felt a need to thank you. Even if you don’t get a chance to respond to this, just know that you’ve had an immense and wonderful impact on me. Again thank you, so very much, for the lovely post. :]
Loving, sensitive husbands often feel that their wife must orgasm each and every time they have sex. After all, it’s a shared experience. After all, they’re a good lover. After all, it’s not all about him getting his rocks off. But the flip side of this is that there are times that women just don’t feel like getting aroused. So it becomes a tense situation where she feels pressured to find and amplify those tiny twinges of interest that might, possibly, sometimes happen. And then orgasm is a whole ‘nother level of frustration.
I know a couple where the wife hates their weekly sex time because no matter how much he tries, she’s just not that interested. And he keeps trying, and she just wants to lie back and enjoy him. So he feels like he’s failed her and she feels like she’s failed him.
Well, news flash guys. Sex isn’t a goal-based activity for most women. For many of us, it’s not all about the big bang. It’s about the intimacy. And once we stop worrying about how aroused we are and just enjoy the togetherness we tend to enjoy it MUCH better.
My husband knows that he’s welcome anytime, whether I am into it or not. Once I relax and enjoy him, it feels good and we’re both happy. Arousal and orgasm don’t always happen. And because there’s no angst and bad feelings, it’s amazing how many times I actually DO want it and can’t keep my hands off of him. Sex should be about having fun with your favorite person. Not about performance or schedules or heck, orgasm. Just enjoy each other.
Although I am not married and nowhere even close to getting married, I am SO proud of your honesty and bravery in discussing this subject mattter. Especially amongst a crowd of (mostly) 20-somethings.
sending you lots of love and gratitude!
«We needed to stop talking about it, stop thinking about it, & just have sex for Heaven’s sake.» WELL SAID! :-)
I read half of your blog post, and then had to get my tea. I was thinking about your post and I knew what I was going to reply: Just freaking do it.
And to my surprise, you did :)
Sex is a simple pleasure in life, a basic need. Yes you’re tired, he’s tired, it’s annoying to take off clothes and get in position, blah blah blah
But as soon as you have sex, you start wondering why you waited that long to begin with? You need to remember that feeling of how good it felt in order to do it again and WANT to do it.
Don’t pressure yourself, just do it.
YES! I’m so, so glad to hear about this transition, this new development, this AWESOMENESS. Yes yes yes. YES!
I admire you for writing this. I often wonder why the blogging world is so hush-hush about sex when we share everything else about our lives. It’s part of life – and it’s nothing to be ashamed of no matter how much we’re lead to believe otherwise.
I’ve been in my relationship almost 7 years now and I have to be honest – it all didn’t just come naturally to us in the beginning. Sure we were turned on by each other but…then what? Since then we’ve learned to communicate about sex without being embarrased. And I really hate to be cliche – but the first time I had an orgasm (that HE gave me) I cried. Then I laughed. It was beautiful.
In my own experience I’ve learned that even when I’m “not in the mood” I should just get nekkid and do it anyway – without thinking about it because halfway through I always think WHY DON’T I DO THIS EVERY NIGHT!? I always trip myself up when I start thinking about how I DON’T want to do it. So in learning about each other I’ve learned a bit about myself also.
So, kudos to you. This was a great post. One that many women can I identify with I think. In some way or another.
It always amazes me to see my own issues (and what I think of as my own crazy) shared by someone else. I have this exact problem and we came to the exact same conclusion.
Interesting fun fact that I learned in my psych and sexuality classes: Testosterone is the key hormone for your libido, so the more you have in your system the more you want to have sex (generally speaking). The more sex you have, the higher your testosterone gets and thus your sex drive goes up again. The less sex you have, the lower your testosterone and the less you want to get it on.
There’s a circle here that has to be jump-started if you bottom out, which is exactly what you did. And kudos and extra gold stars to you for figuring it out! I hope that your experiences and discoveries will keep you through the dry spells and remind you that all isn’t lost if you don’t get nekkid every damn day. It helps me. <3
I’m so glad that you guys were able to just pull all the over thinking out of it, and just be close- that’s all sex is meant to be about! I think that sometimes beyond having unrealistic ideas of what our sex life is supposed to be like, we have unrealistic expectations of what our sex drives are supposed to even feel like. But I’m glad that you guys are working through it together <3
Great post. My boyfriend and I are going through something similar {namely, just asking for it every .2 seconds} and so it’s good to read someone else’s experiences on the subject. Thanks. xo
While I do not think sex is the most important factor in a relationship, I do feel it is a big one and when two people are sexually incompatiable there are going be issues that can threaten to tear the relationship apart. I agree that a lot of our own attitudes toward sex are from pre-conditioning and I would never advocate someone to act against their feelings, the amount of emphasis we place on sex is oft times its undoing.
I’ve been the Jonathan is some situations and found it frustrating to be with someone who didn’t need to have sex as much as I, but once I let it go and took the pressure off of it, the channel opened.
I know I’ve mentioned this to you before, but part of the biggest shift for me has been considering all those other intimate moments – the long car rides, the cuddling in bed, the kissing on the couch, the hugs before work – forms of making love, too. Sex doesn’t always have to be penis-in-vagina to be gratifying. Making love can happen all the time, anywhere. :-)
hey, love!
i give you so many props for coming out with your honesty. that is such an admirable thing.
i also hope that sex continues to be something GREAT for both you and jonathan. practice makes perfect, right?
First of all, I would like to applaud you for writing this post. You explained how I (sometimes) feel so well. Not that I don’t enjoy sex, but it’s not something I always feel like doing. I’m glad you two are figuring out what works best for you.
I think it’s so courageous of you to write about your personal difficulties when it comes to sex and feeling sexy. It’s hard to believe that someone as lovely and photogenic as you would ever have trouble seeing yourself as a sexual being.
I think we all sometimes look at our bodies and feel the insecurities and hangups. Amidst all that, it’s great to be able to say to yourself that your husband has voluntarily decided to spend the rest of his life loving you and your body. Whether you like your body or not, he has decided to love it always. That’s pretty damn gorgeous.
This is a beautiful post for so many reasons.
You are such a courageous, amazing, beautiful person and J is lucky to have you. I’m glad you’re able to work through things as a couple, talk freely and openly and move forward stronger and together. That is something a lot of people don’t have.
I follow Amy’s “Justatitch” blog and came across yours, as she links to your blog as one of her favorites, so today in my mid-day lull I decided to read through yours…
I just want to say how much I appreciate your blogging about this subject. I share a few of the same feelings as you do, and as I read through it I truly felt like you were giving me a warm hug. It’s always comforting to know you’re not the only one, and especially in a venue that allows many people to come across it.
I send my best and warmest wishes to you and your husband, as well as a huge thank you to you :)
I’m new to your blog, but I remember seeing pics of you from Kyla’s Vegas trip and thought “what a beautiful, fun looking girl! I wish I knew her!” I just stumbled across your blog (finally) and I had to say – thank you for posting this. We’ve had some similar issues where we’ve just been working crazy hours all week and by the weekend we’re just exhausted and I felt HORRIBLE because the thought of further exhausting myself through sex just didn’t appeal to me for the longest time, and I felt like the worst fiance ever while my boy was off out working 14 hour days, coming home to a girl who didn’t want to have sex. He always assured me it was okay but I could tell it wasn’t – he stopped trying, and I felt terrible. It sounds like this is so much more common that we think though and (like you guys) we eventually just did it and had an experience similar to you guys – everything turned out just fine and we’re back to being healthy and normal (although this may be coincidental with his new, regular 8-4 job), but it was so refreshing to actually read about this stuff. Thank you!
Such a beautiful post, my lovely friend. My libido seems to be in flux a lot, I’ll go through times where I just don’t feel like it, I’d rather sleep or read or what have you. Then others that it’s quite the opposite. I’ve found that the lulls are usually accompaniment to the times where we haven’t gotten to connect in other ways, & all we have to do is spend real quality time together & that libido wakes right up for me.
Love ya. ;)
You have basically written the post I wish I would be able to write on my own blog. Some of the details are a little different, but (as you already know) I’ve struggled with many of these same feelings. Especially in the first two years of marriage! I totally get these words you wrote:
“I’m the kind of girl who, when she gets the “urge”, waves it off & chooses to read a book instead. It’s much simpler to read a book, I think.”
I think that’s why, at a certain point, I had the same revelation you did. I decided to just DO IT ANYWAY. Even when I don’t feel like it. Even when I don’t think anything he does can make me feel like it. And, honestly, it’s amazing how some of the most gratifying sexual experiences I’ve had with my husband have been when I didn’t think I was “in the mood”. It’s just more proof to the theory that if you just get out there and do it, the feelings will follow. It’s oh, so true. That’s not to say I’m a raging nympho now. But, you know. :) I’m always a work in progress.
I also wish that women would realize how, for the most part, women in their early twenties haven’t even reached their full sexual maturity – as far as the ability to orgasm and such. If I had known more about that when I was first married (especially because I was only 21!) then I think I wouldn’t have put so much PRESSURE on myself. In the last several years, let’s just say that I’ve definitely seen a change in my own sexuality and my confidence in it all. It’s amazing to see that. And very encouraging.
Anyway, you are my hero for posting this. As always, I’m just in awe of your ability to be so raw, honest and real. Best of luck on your continuing journey!
So glad to read about such huge steps in the right direction! You’re totally right in the fact that you just have to do it! don’t think about it, don’t think about how much simpler it would be to just go to sleep or read, etc.
I am so glad that I read this. Thank you so much for talking so openly and honestly about this! I’ve been trying to compose a legit comment, but I feel too uncomfortable to say much, even while being hidden behind a computer screen! It takes a lot of courage to write what you did, and just know that you made one person feel a little bit better about being in a similar situation!
Thank you for this post. I can relate to this one, even though I’m not exactly the same – it’s very similar. Most days, I just don’t want to do it. No reason, I’m just not feeling it. I love my husband and 90% of the time really enjoy sex with him. I’d say 10% of the time I don’t enjoy it b/c I’m doing it when I don’t really really want to. I just feel like I should. Its unenjoyable because I’m not connecting to him.
I just don’t want to sometimes and it does make me feel like a “bad wife” and I hate it. I hate our fights about it, I hate talking about it, and I hate thinking about it.
He has a high sex drive and is frustrated. We’ve tried compromising, but it already comes back up. He keeps saying that he can’t wait for more years to pass (I’m 30), but what if I turn that magical horny age and I don’t get horny? what then?
Too much pressure, right? It’s nice to know that I’m not the only person out there…that helps.
i can completely relate to this post. i was with my ex-boyfriend for about 3 years and it was a given that every week he wanted to have sex at least 3 or 4 days out of the week. i felt as though we were lacking communication. When we would argue he would say that sex was the only thing that made things better or at least he felt that we communicated better through it. When he said this, i became frustrated. it got to a point where i began to feel that it was more of a chore that i had to get out of the way as quickly as possible. The days that we would see each other, i would try to get it out early in the evening so that later on i wouldn’t be thinking “great, now we’re going to have sex.”
I went thru the same thing. Even the same discussions with my husband. But something happened once I reached my thirties! And it’s still happening LOL! So, here’s my advice to my friends who went thru the same thing… Don’t sweat it! Just let it! Corny, but true. Take care!
BRAVO!
WOW… beautifully told i didnt want it to end
XX
Vi from Cali
Thank you for being so candid and open about this topic. I didn’t even realize how long a post this was because your writing is so well thought out and honest.
I have had similar issues in my relationship (going on 6 years) but it comes and goes in phases. Luckily we still desire each other and have amazing sex (yeehaw!)but dry spells do occur, and when they do we both know why and where it comes from. Honest and open communication is key. Always.
I do admire your honesty. What they say is true, women (generally) dont reach their prime until they are in your 30s. I’m 31 and I over the past year and a half, I finally found out what they meant. I think too many people (not you or your husband in particular) confuse love and sex, and only think of sex as the end result – The Big O.
Anyway, thank you for sharing with us. :)
I feel as though I could have written this post – and I thank you for making me feel less alone! My partner and I have had similar problems, and it is reassuring to know that my relationship isn’t completely different to that of a straight couple.
I absolutely commend you for your honesty, and thanks again.
:)
The honesty in this post was absolutely refreshing. I am too married, and young and I truly thought the conflicts about sex with my husband were specific to only our relationship. I’m so relieved to know other couples face the same issues and that we are not alone. I truly appreciate you being so explicit and honest, reading this was healing and wonderful.
Love your blog to pieces!
thx 4 zis post….i know now that im not the only one feeling this way!
I second the “just f#ck” comment, because that is the attitude I have to take in order for it to happen. My husband isn’t super aggressive and I prefer to masturbate. We would NEVER have sex if I didn’t take that attitude. I actually have to psyche myself out to get into it sometimes, I think that is how some people develop fetishes… thats another topic completely… anyway thanxs for sharing, its nice to know that its other couples go through the same thing.
Wow so corageous of u to share this with the world!!