I got another tattoo this afternoon, which makes a total of four on my body. & this will not the be last, I am sure.
I feel like tattoos are best done spontaneously. Otherwise, one will think about it too much (the permanency, especially), & will eventually shy away from the idea. As spontaneous as this one seems, I made an appointment yesterday afternoon. Every other time, I’ve just walked in & had it done upon arrival.
The idea for this tattoo came to me a week ago, as I was trying to fall asleep. I was lying awake, my mind racing a hundred miles a minute. (I must have been worrying about senseless things, because I can’t, for the life of me, remember what was keeping me awake.) In the midst of my worrying, it dawned on me… this too shall pass. The moment I thought of that single phrase, I relaxed, let out a deep sigh of relief, & fell into a fitful sleep.
Those worried feelings haven’t ceased, because for the last few days, I’ve been feeling absolutely petrified & panicked by the thought that I may not be moving in the right direction in my life. I’ve been fretting about this blog & my advice blog, especially, being a horrible nag to myself about how I’m not writing enough. Perhaps I shouldn’t care as much about something as silly as a blog. But I feel my blogs are the only tangible representations of my voice in this huge world, making them enormously meaningful & sacred to me. If I’m not writing, I am not sharing my voice. The pressure from that thought is tremendous. & I’ve been afraid that this inarticulateness & this non-direction feeling was going to stay permanent. But each time I’ve had those thoughts, I instantly remembered “this too shall pass” & my mind quieted enough for me to go on about my day.
Yesterday, I put it in my mind that I wanted that phrase tattooed on my arm, as a reminder to myself to not fret.
Many people have different reasons for getting tattoos. Some want to immortalize their loved ones; some want to immortalize their memories; some want to profess their love for a certain era, object, animal, or flower. As for me, I view the tattoos on my body as valuable memos; things that I need to be constantly reminded of on a daily basis, to keep me focused & grounded. (The greatest example of this is the film, Memento.) & if there is one thing I am always looking at, it is my own body. Sometimes, I need to remember to breathe. Sometimes, I need to remember that I AM a writer, even though I don’t always see it.
Right now, I need to remember that these not-so-wonderful feelings of mine will pass; that they are not permanent.
& I picked the placement on my left arm strategically… because it’s the one I write with.