the things my mother taught me.

(For most of my life, my sister & I were homeschooled by my mother, & many of the things she taught us have everything to do with that. This little write-up is a salute to her creativity & intelligence. Every little thing about me is the product of her brilliance & quirkiness. I pretty much owe it all to her, & I am absolutely grateful to her decision to homeschool me.)

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My mother taught me how to cook. She taught me how to wash, prepare, & fry chicken. She taught me how to catch & de-scale a fish. She taught me how to sauté mushrooms & stir-fry asparagus. She taught me how to pick the best watermelons, cantaloupes, & apricots. She taught me not to slam doors or cabinets while a cake is baking in the oven; she also taught me how to prick a cake with a toothpick to see if it was done. She taught me how to grow squash & greens & tomatoes, & then taught me how to enjoy them in a “made from scratch” dish. She taught me how to make Soul Food. She taught me how to lick the beaters.

My mother taught me how to catch butterflies. She taught me how to play with earthworms, roly-polys, beetles, & moths. She taught me that all creatures crawling about the lawn & dirt had the right of way. She taught me how to create the best ant farms. She taught me how to rescue fallen June bugs. She taught me how to nurse sick grasshoppers back to health. She taught me how to bury poor dead bugs, while saying a solemn prayer for them.

My mother taught me how to worry. She [indirectly] taught me that if Daddy was late coming home, it meant that he was most likely in a fatal accident; she also taught me how to mentally plan for his funeral. She taught me how to stay up to make sure someone got home alright, no matter how late. She [indirectly] taught me that money can be a scary thing, & she [indirectly] taught me how to stress over it. She taught me how to be intuitive of other people’s woes. She taught me how to empathize.

My mother taught me how to be frugal. She taught me how to shop at thrift stores & to be proud of doing so. She taught me how to balance a checkbook. She taught me how to clip & use coupons. She taught me how to bargain shop. She taught me how to make ends meet. She taught me how to plan meals throughout the week. She taught me the importance of freezing leftovers. She taught me that handmade gifts are the best kind to give. She taught me that money can’t by me love.

My mother taught me how to look pretty. She taught me how to paint my nails, wash my hair, & put on lipstick. She taught me how to apply makeup. She taught me how to dress myself. She taught me how to shave my legs & pluck my eyebrows. She taught me how to make face masks from oatmeal, egg whites, & avocado. She taught me how to use a curling iron. She taught me that beauty is fleeting, skin deep, & in the eye of the beholder. She taught me what it means to be a lady.

My mother taught me how to appreciate nostalgic things: old movies (with Shirley Temple, Cary Grant, Doris Day, & Lucille Ball); old television shows (The Flintstones, Scooby-Doo, I Love Lucy, The Twilight Zone, Looney Tunes, & The Brady Bunch); old books (Nancy Drew, Ramona Quimby, Dr. Seuss, The Bobbsey Twins, Roald Dahl, & C.S. Lewis); & old people (my grandparents, specifically).

My mother taught me manners. She taught me to not interrupt others, young or old; & if I had to interrupt, she taught me to say, “Excuse me.” She taught me to sit with my legs crossed. She taught me to wash my hands before preparing things in the kitchen. She taught me to keep my germs to myself. She taught me to ask others if they intended to have the last cookie before I gobbled it down for myself. She taught me to hold doors open for people. She taught me how to smile & be kind to strangers; & if they dropped something, she taught me to pick it up for them. She taught me to never cut in line, she taught me to wait my turn, & she taught me to let others go before me, just to be nice. She taught me how to be polite. She taught me how to kill with kindness.

My mother taught me how to be over-protective of my little sister. She taught me how to stick up for her, & dry her eyes when she cried. She taught me that it’s okay to quarrel with my sister, as long as it was done with love & understanding. She taught me how to be a good influence on her. She taught me that my sister will be one of the greatest friends I have in this world. She taught us to play nice, love each other, & respect each other. She taught us to be best friends.

My mother taught me how to be creative & use my imagination. She taught me silly songs & funny dances. She taught me that all stuffed animals had feelings & souls. She taught me how to make mud pies, take mud baths, & have mud fights. She taught me how to give my Barbies unique names (she also taught me that black Barbies were just as pretty as white ones). She taught me how to make the best tents using rope, comforters, & table chairs. She taught me how to climb trees. She taught me how to draw & paint. She taught me how to sew. She taught me how to make Christmas ornaments out of homemade dough, cotton balls, pipe cleaner, & popsicle sticks. She taught me how to stay forever young.

My mother taught me how to write. She taught me how to pronounce, spell, & use long words. She taught me how to broaden my vocabulary. She taught me how to compose in diaries (& even let me read hers for inspiration). She taught me how to express my feelings through metaphors & analogies. She taught me how to write my own stories & tell them with exaggerated enthusiasm. She taught me how to type fast. She taught me the importance of reading if I was going to be a writer. She taught me how to find my own literary voice.

My mother taught me how to feel. She taught me how to cry without shame. She taught me how to laugh hysterically. She taught me how to be frustrated & how to be scared. She taught me how to express my true emotions, even if they were silly. She taught me sensitivity & intuition. She taught me how to trust others. She taught me about anxiety & depression. She taught me how to be strong. She taught me how to forgive. She taught me that “this too shall pass.”

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Q: what kind of wisdom or quirky lessons did your mother teach you?