She’s wearing: a leopard-print dress & combat boots, from Forever21; tights, from the 99¢ store; necklace, from H&M.
He’s wearing: a striped shirt, black skinny jeans, & tie, all from H&M; shoes from Vans.
Jonathan & I went to my aunt’s 50th birthday party on Saturday, where he met most of my family for the first time; this is what we wore. Jonathan looked so incredibly debonair that I asked him if I could take his picture & feature him on my blog. (Even if he had said no, I would have done it anyway.) Putting our pictures side by side, I think it’s quite obvious who looks hotter (him, of course!).
Believe it or not, the color coordination was NOT planned (although it looks pretty awesome). We have a tendency to dress in the same color scheme without wanting to. I guess that’s when you really know if you’re melding into one flesh; you start dressing very similarly. Sometimes it’s annoying, because it truly looks like we’re that obnoxious couple that wears his & hers things. In this instance, I’m not complaining, because I felt like he & I looked like a bad-ass punk couple.
Oh, & the party went well. Jonathan held his own amongst my colorful family members, & they all welcomed him with open arms.
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On Wednesday, I’m hosting a Wii Fit yoga party with Nintendo as a Brand Enthusiast. I anticipate that there will be lots of laughs, no doubt coming from me, as I try to contort my body into familiar positions that I used to know. A post will most certainly be done to relive those moments. (& if you were invited, I cannot wait to see you there!)
& on Thursday, I will be going on a mini-vacation with Jonathan to visit his family in Salt Lake City, Utah. I will be gone for 4 days, & it will be the second time I’ve ridden on a plane. To get through the nerves I’m already feeling about being hundreds of miles in the air for about 2 hours, I will be taking dramamine with the hopes that I’ll just sleep the entire time. (In other words: pray for me.)
That said, from now until after November 2nd, I will be on a hiatus from apricot tea & ask apricot. (& I use the word “hiatus” loosely, fully knowing that it will not truly be a hiatus. But the word in itself gives me a freeing kind of feeling that the term “BRB” cannot.)
So wish me safe travels… & answer me this while I’m gone:
Q: what is your motivation for being a good person: to achieve personal happiness in this life, in the afterlife, or for something else?
This is a picture I had taken for my project 365; it’s one of my favorites. I mostly love it because I’ve been quite addicted to black & white stripes. I’m using this photograph today because it depicts exactly how I’m feeling at the moment.
I have several pre-written blog posts that are in need of publishing. They’ve been sitting in my drafts folder for 3 months now. I’m too timid to hit the publish button as they are; I feel like they need to be tweaked & edited more so that the point I’m trying to make is tangible & articulate. Because I have really great ideas, but I often cannot express them in a delicious way. I tend to ramble, which results in the composition sounding self-centered & whiny. Many people would say, “So? Write it anyway!” But I don’t believe in writing mediocre things. Self-centered, whiny compositions are often bad writings. & I refuse to stand by bad writing, even if it is honest.
I have a lot on my mind today. This month has gone by too quickly, & I’m trying to catch up to it, both physically & emotionally. October has been far too busy for my liking, & I will be quite happy when it’s over.
sheer tank top is from Cali; white DIY ripped pants are from GAP; tights are from Target; shoes are from Forever21; men’s beanie is from H&M; jewelry is miscellaneous.
(Do you ever dream about a killer outfit you should wear the next day? I do, & this ensemble was a product of an involuntary vision.)
It rained all day Tuesday, & part of Wednesday, with temperatures in the mid-to-late 60s. I got excited & bought several Fall & Winter-esque items, preparing to take on stormy weather & cold nights.
Today, there is vast amounts of sunshine, with a weekend forecast of 95° degrees F. So… if you’re bi-polar, Southern California’s weather changes with suit your mood-swings perfectly.
striped tank, from Forever21; cut-off shorts, from H&M; tights are from the 99 cent store; shoes are from DSW; cardigan is from Ruche.com; necklaces from dogeared.com & my own shop.
What I wore yesterday for meeting some new friends at The Alcove in Los Feliz for lunch. It was my very time going there — my very first time being in Los Feliz, actually — & despite the crowded conditions, the food was amazing. (As was the company.)
For the last few days, it’s been very overcast & crisp in the mornings here in Pasadena. Which satisfies my soul in a way that I can’t explain. To be able to wear a cardigan with tights without sweating my panties off is an accomplishment. I’ve been so tired of wearing tank tops & shorts. I’m so ready to bundle up & layer for Fall.
Also, in my last post, some of you had asked about the fourth tattoo I have. I have an outline of a dragonfly on my lower hip. It isn’t perfectly done, but it has a lot of sentimental value, considering it was the very first tattoo I got; I was eighteen years old at the time. I picked the dragonfly because it represents change & growing maturity.
I got another tattoo this afternoon, which makes a total of four on my body. & this will not the be last, I am sure.
I feel like tattoos are best done spontaneously. Otherwise, one will think about it too much (the permanency, especially), & will eventually shy away from the idea. As spontaneous as this one seems, I made an appointment yesterday afternoon. Every other time, I’ve just walked in & had it done upon arrival.
The idea for this tattoo came to me a week ago, as I was trying to fall asleep. I was lying awake, my mind racing a hundred miles a minute. (I must have been worrying about senseless things, because I can’t, for the life of me, remember what was keeping me awake.) In the midst of my worrying, it dawned on me… this too shall pass. The moment I thought of that single phrase, I relaxed, let out a deep sigh of relief, & fell into a fitful sleep.
Those worried feelings haven’t ceased, because for the last few days, I’ve been feeling absolutely petrified & panicked by the thought that I may not be moving in the right direction in my life. I’ve been fretting about this blog & my advice blog, especially, being a horrible nag to myself about how I’m not writing enough. Perhaps I shouldn’t care as much about something as silly as a blog. But I feel my blogs are the only tangible representations of my voice in this huge world, making them enormously meaningful & sacred to me. If I’m not writing, I am not sharing my voice. The pressure from that thought is tremendous. & I’ve been afraid that this inarticulateness & this non-direction feeling was going to stay permanent. But each time I’ve had those thoughts, I instantly remembered “this too shall pass” & my mind quieted enough for me to go on about my day.
Yesterday, I put it in my mind that I wanted that phrase tattooed on my arm, as a reminder to myself to not fret.
Many people have different reasons for getting tattoos. Some want to immortalize their loved ones; some want to immortalize their memories; some want to profess their love for a certain era, object, animal, or flower. As for me, I view the tattoos on my body as valuable memos; things that I need to be constantly reminded of on a daily basis, to keep me focused & grounded. (The greatest example of this is the film, Memento.) & if there is one thing I am always looking at, it is my own body. Sometimes, I need to remember to breathe. Sometimes, I need to remember that I AM a writer, even though I don’t always see it.
Right now, I need to remember that these not-so-wonderful feelings of mine will pass; that they are not permanent.
& I picked the placement on my left arm strategically… because it’s the one I write with.
(For most of my life, my sister & I were homeschooled by my mother, & many of the things she taught us have everything to do with that. This little write-up is a salute to her creativity & intelligence. Every little thing about me is the product of her brilliance & quirkiness. I pretty much owe it all to her, & I am absolutely grateful to her decision to homeschool me.)
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My mother taught me how to cook. She taught me how to wash, prepare, & fry chicken. She taught me how to catch & de-scale a fish. She taught me how to sauté mushrooms & stir-fry asparagus. She taught me how to pick the best watermelons, cantaloupes, & apricots. She taught me not to slam doors or cabinets while a cake is baking in the oven; she also taught me how to prick a cake with a toothpick to see if it was done. She taught me how to grow squash & greens & tomatoes, & then taught me how to enjoy them in a “made from scratch” dish. She taught me how to make Soul Food. She taught me how to lick the beaters.
My mother taught me how to catch butterflies. She taught me how to play with earthworms, roly-polys, beetles, & moths. She taught me that all creatures crawling about the lawn & dirt had the right of way. She taught me how to create the best ant farms. She taught me how to rescue fallen June bugs. She taught me how to nurse sick grasshoppers back to health. She taught me how to bury poor dead bugs, while saying a solemn prayer for them.
My mother taught me how to worry. She [indirectly] taught me that if Daddy was late coming home, it meant that he was most likely in a fatal accident; she also taught me how to mentally plan for his funeral. She taught me how to stay up to make sure someone got home alright, no matter how late. She [indirectly] taught me that money can be a scary thing, & she [indirectly] taught me how to stress over it. She taught me how to be intuitive of other people’s woes. She taught me how to empathize.
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