04|28|2009
16 things I’ve learned from being married.
1.) I’ve learned that it IS possible for men to be like they are perceived in the movies. They can be romantic; they can be sweet; they can be intuitive. & they really do pick flowers for you while they walk home from work.
2.) I’ve learned that my husband is truly the only person that can quiet my overactive & extremely obnoxious hypochondriac tendencies. Example:
Me: Babe! I think I’ve got tooth cancer!!!
Him: No, you don’t.
Me: Well, does this look like a tumor to you? [opens mouth]
Him: No, it doesn’t.
Me: Well, maybe I have a flesh eating disease; do you think so?
Him: … Probably.
Me: Hey! That’s not funny.
3.) I’ve learned that even though a man’s genitals are not very pretty to look at, we can still be friends… with benefits.
4.) I’ve learned that I’ve earned a special right to browse & buy books in the Love/Sex section at the bookstore.
5.) I’ve learned that my husband is usually 20 degrees warmer than myself, & for that, he makes the best foot warmer. Sticking my popsicle toes down his pants (while watching a movie, for example) suffices my freezing feet perfectly.
6.) I’ve learned that in spite of your husband (Jonathan) blatantly wearing a wedding ring, with his wife (me) standing right beside him, people STILL think the wife (me!) is “just a friend” along for the ride. Perhaps it’s because we’re an interracial couple. Nevertheless, there is no valid excuse for ignorance. & we all know what happens when you assume! (As my father says: “You make an ASS out of U & ME.”)
7.) I’ve learned that when my husband does something — be it tightening a screw, slicing potatoes, or opening a jar — he does it slightly better than myself.
8.) I’ve learned that every night is date night. Even if my husband & I are at home, in our pajamas, playing old school Nintendo, while eating chocolate truffles, it is just as thrilling as a night on the town, because there is no where else I’d rather be.
9.) I’ve learned that men’s magazines are just as fascinating as women’s magazines. In fact, I’m the only one that reads them. Jonathan will only look at the pictures, comment on how air-brushed the male models are… & then pick up a book about Eastern philosophy.
10.) I’ve learned that there is nothing more adorable than when you are tickling a man into oblivion; so much that he is giggling, snorting, writhing, & completely red in the face.
11.) I’ve learned that going to bed angry is okay sometimes.
12.) I’ve learned that the smell of my husband’s sweat, combined with his patchouli deodorant from LUSH, is like Heaven to my nostrils. I actually prefer that sweaty smell to cologne.
13.) I’ve learned to apply makeup according to my husband’s specific displays of affection. I know that he likes to put his hands on my cheeks, so I make sure not to wear heavy foundation. I know that he likes to kiss my eyelids, so I know not to wear too much eyeshadow. I know that he cannot pass me by without kissing my lips, so I never wear lipstick/lipgloss.
14.)I’ve learned that my husband’s critique is valued immensely, even if it hurts a little. Example:
Me: Honey, how do I look?
[Jonathan gives me "the look."]
Me: Really? I thought I looked nice…
[Jonathan gives me "the look."]
Me: Alright, already! You don’t have to be nasty about it.
15.) I’ve learned that in spite of me vowing to always remain somewhat lady-like in front of my husband, I can usually out burp him… most of the time.
16.) I’ve learned that my husband really couldn’t care less about Brazilian waxing, thong underwear, or high-heeled shoes. He has been kind enough never to request or allow me to partake in any of those things. For that, my vagina & my feet are forever grateful.
But, all humor aside, the most important thing I have learned from being married is unconditional patience. Especially when it comes to his personal & often daring endeavors. He is now working towards the goal to quit his day job in 90 days to be a full-time blogger & life coach.
Am I nervous about this? Absolutely. But do I trust him? Intimately.
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 12:00 pm:
if even 1% of people in the world find a love like the two of you have, the world would be an infinitely better place.
this was so sweet. i hope i find my jonathan someday. :)
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 12:09 pm:
you found a gem of a man.
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 12:15 pm:
AWWW, seriously, when I read about the two of you, I can’t wait to find the one out there who is meant for me. I can only hope that our relationship is as sweet as yours :)
Also, I LOVED what you said about wearing makeup according to your husbands affection. It’s so refreshing to know that a man can love you without all that makeup on your face. I think too many women today “hide” their faces mainly due to the fear of looking “ugly” without it. It’s nice to know that guys can (and prefer) girls au natural, its so sweet and endearing :)
Thanks for the great post!
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 12:18 pm:
Aww…I can’t help but to gush at this. It makes me smile and yen…just a bit, but it also makes me know that I should be patient. When you love and accept yourself as you are, others will too. Love like this doesn’t just come out of nowhere.
3.) I think a man’s genitals can be very pretty to look at. But that depends on the man…being my man, of course.
8.) I understand the feeling, never having been married, but having lived with my first real love. It’s an amazing connection to want to be around someone that much.
9.) Men’s magazines are great! I subscribed to Esquire for 3 years. :) No man in the house.
The best to you and Jonathan on that 90 day goal. I’m rooting for you!
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 12:36 pm:
this was very lovely!
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 1:10 pm:
Wow this post was so inspiring and beautiful. You and Jonathan have such a truly beautiful relationship and I love how honest and open you write about it.
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 1:26 pm:
aw this is so sweet. good luck to jonathan on his next adventure and you as well since you’ll be right there with him :)
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 1:38 pm:
i TOTALLY ditto your comment about your husband’s opinion haha…
i go through the same exact thing with my bf haha.
he doesnt even say anything. i just get “the look” as well.
youve been gifted with a wonderful guy!
thank you for sharing your beautiful relationship with the world :]
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 2:08 pm:
@ rachel: aww, that is such a nice thing to say! Thank you. & I’m sure you’ll find a man just as sweet as Jonathan; you just have to be ready for him to come into your life. (Because I certainly didn’t expect to meet Jonathan when I did!) :]
@ san: Yes, he’s my diamond encrusted ball & chain. ;]
@ Hafsa: I am so blessed that I have a guy that couldn’t care less about me wearing makeup. It makes my life so much simpler. I no longer need to feel like I should hide my face when I wake up in the morning. :] & thank you for your comment; it was incredibly sweet.
@ Leandra: I’m still trying to get used to the the “look” of male’s genitals. No offense to my husband (or any other man on the planet!) but I don’t find them attractive. It’s a love hate relationship. ;]
& I’m glad I’m not the only on who adores men’s magazines. I laughed out loud when you said you subscribed to Esquire for 3 years!
@ Sarah A.: Thank you!
@ Shannon: Oh no no; you & Andrew go down in history for the cutest couple EVER. =]
@ katelin: thanks, love. He’ll certainly need it. I’m on pins & needles.
@ open secrets: YES! Isn’t it funny how “the look” just gets you? He doesn’t even have to say anything, & I just know he hates it. I love that. :]
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 2:08 pm:
Oh! This post is really lovely :)
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 2:20 pm:
My goodness, this is truly the most adorable and inspiring post :)
It is so wonderful to know there is such tremendous love in the world. You two are so beautiful.
xx
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 3:07 pm:
Aw, this post is so warm & lovely! Being married is really awesome and I love all the endless dates! :)
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 3:56 pm:
Love this post! I look forward to having that one day!
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 4:14 pm:
Love this ENTIRE post. I completely understand each one.
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 4:55 pm:
you have a way with words, thanks for sharing your list. i love #16. :)
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 5:15 pm:
what an absolutely gorgeous post! so refreshing to hear the truth – I too am married + often find people (often older women) wanting me to say ‘I got married too young’ ‘It’s not that great’ etc etc to cover their thoughts on the issue – but really we have both blossomed so much in marriage + I can honestly say me + the hubby are both better people together.
I LOVE your husbands blog – what an enlightening point of view – so inspiring! SUBSCRIBED! goodluck with his goal + to your future. I’m sure the universe will unfold as it should :)
xxx
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 5:52 pm:
reading this has brought tears to my eyes lolz.
hope to have a relationship similar to yours when im older.
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 5:56 pm:
This is the sweetest post. I’m glad you both know what you have and cherish it.
May we all be so lucky. =)
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 6:07 pm:
Marriage is great! I too am in an interracial marriage :-)! People don’t know what to think at times…my husband is Asian. We have a beautiful son…and he looks Dominican lol :-).
Enjoy this time in your life…have lots of fun!
Lovlee
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 6:20 pm:
You guys are too freakin’ cute. I’m getting married on Friday and I hope (think!) we’ll be as happy and adorable as you guys <3
(PS – I think male genitals are uglaaaaaay too :P )
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 6:42 pm:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/04282009/news/regionalnews/woody_wins_one_in_ad_flap_166536.htm
Thought you would enjoy this
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 7:07 pm:
@ Elly: aw, thank you. :]
@ Petra: Thank you, love. That is so sweet.
@ Steph Anne: Yes! Being married is so sweet. It’s an adventure everyday. I love it. =]
@ Blank.Bare.Clean: I definitely think you’ll find it. :] Just don’t give up!
@ Megan: I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s always nice to know that there are other people out there who have relationships such as this.
@ honeyno: Thank you so much. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. =]
@ flair to remember: I feel the same way. I think so many (older) couples expect me & Jonathan to fail because we’re young & seemingly “stupid” to have gotten married at such a young age. But I think they’re often surprised when they sit down & talk to us. They see that we’re quite mature for our age, & we’ve got good heads on our shoulders.
& Jonathan will be so happy to know that you subscribed! I’ll tell him. :]
@ Nike: Awww, how sweet! I’m glad you enjoyed it, love. =]
@ Alicia: thanks love. =]
@ Lovlee: I love it when I find other interracial couples. I think they’re beautiful. (Or perhaps I’m biased.)
@ Michelle: Oh wow, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! & good luck! I hope it goes smoothly.
@ Diva: I DID enjoy that. Thank you very much. ;]
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 8:04 pm:
as you know i love all of you post but this was the best by far!!!!! i am love i love love and i am in love with love so to see two people love love and live to love and love each other is a wonderful thing…..sorry if confusing but LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL thing!!!! I pray that God continues to let that fire & love burn between you and jonathan….you two make me smile
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 8:11 pm:
I understand number six so much, even though there’s no wedding rings on our hands. If G and I are not just completely macking on each other and acting inappropriate in public, if we’re just holding hands I get completely ignored.
It’s not the only one I get, but the one that might bug me the most. ;)
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 9:54 pm:
seriously the cutest thing ever..you are so cute!! you two seem awesome together..and yesterday was the first time i HEARD the ASS out of U & ME thing at work..I was like HAHAHAHAHA it’s hilarious..and yes, men’s parts are not pretty..neitehr are girl parts so I guess they equal out LOL
on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 11:01 pm:
I couldn’t help but smile as I read this list – I resonated with so much of it! Thanks for reminding me of all of the great things that come with an amazing, smelly (in a good way) man-beast.
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 12:03 am:
Dear Ev’yan,
when I read those 16 points it reminded me so much of my relationship (not married, but couple for 4 and a half years now).
I think small things like that are what makes you love your partner so much…it made me smile reading point 5 and 12, that it SO TRUE (okay, my boyfriend uses just a little spritz of his perfume and it mixes with his own smell, thats what makes me grab my nose into his neck)!
I don’t know you, but I think you’re such a nice person. Just the way how natural you write is so nice. What a pity, I’d really like to eat some muffins with you ;-) too far, from Germany!
Have a nice day and be happy!
Sina
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 4:04 am:
lovely post! =)
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 5:38 am:
this was so cute :)
i just started reading your blog recently, and i love it btw.
annnd, one of the things i noticed was that you and her your husband were an interracial couple and i love it so much.
<3
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 6:31 am:
This is such an intimate list – and SO sweet! I’m with you on #12, I prefer that smell to any cologne – and people always assume that Mister and I are just friends too, and even though I clearly wear wedding rings a lot of the time people don’t even think I’m married!
I think that part of it is because we’re all so terribly young and good looking – they want to assume we’re still up for grabs ;)
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 7:26 am:
this is such a sweet love letter and testimony to love. TRUE LOVE.
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 2:15 pm:
I LOVE when you post about marriage. I can relate to about 98% of the stuff (my DH’s face does not turn red,LOL). I too love that they are so warm, my husband is like 220lbs (i think more but this is the story he’s sticking to) of 98.6 degrees and in the cold, it feels soooo good.
Anyway, I also watched Vicky Christina Barcelona and rather enjoyed it. Thanks for recommending it to me.
I have read your husband’s blog. I am really into the subject that he writes about. Don’t be scared, I am sure life will turn out fine.
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 2:50 pm:
@ Shae: Aw, thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. & your comment made plenty sense; I just had to read it slowly. :]
@ Alexis: Oh, I’m glad I’m not the only one. It infuriates me! I try to not take it personally; like maybe people are REALLY that oblivious, but still… ;/
@ cassie: Okay, I’m so glad you agreed with the men’s genitals thing! I was beginning to feel like I was alone in that one. They are funny looking, I think. But I’m trying my best to appreciate them… :]
@ Jennifer Nicole: I laughed out loud to “man-beast.” It’s so true! =]
@ Sina: Aww, that’s so sweet! I love muffins. :] I’d love to meet you in person. Maybe one day, yeah? For now, though, enjoy some muffins for me. & thanks for loving my blog!
@ mary: thank you. :]
@ tina: thank you! I appreciate knowing that you appreciate interracial relationships. :] I think they’re wonderful.
@ Kyla: You could be right. These people could be holding onto hope that Jonathan & I aren’t taken. ;] That’s a better way of looking at it, I think, than me thinking that they don’t even acknowledge my existence.
@ thatshortchick: Thanks, love. :] You’re sweet.
@ justme: I’m so glad you liked Vicky Christina Barcelona. I loved it myself. & Jonathan will be happy to know that some of my readers enjoy his blog. I’ll pass the message along. ;]
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 3:54 pm:
Ahh some parts of this post made me laugh and others made me a little teary! You are such a lovely couple.x
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 9:24 pm:
love love love this picture! beautiful! xoxo
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 9:38 pm:
i’m much younger then you are and nowhere near marriage but i must say that reading about your marriage, triumphs and tribulations is so very inspiring. the love that you and your husband share truly gives me hope that not all marriages have to end in divorce or unhappiness. thank you so much and may your marriage continue to be blessed :)
on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 10:54 pm:
This is the sweetest list. I’m not married yet, but I can imagine how every night can feel like date night.
My BF tickles me A LOT and I get kinda annoyed even though I’m uncontrollably laughing and snorting and screaming and crying. But if he thinks that’s adorable, um, I guess it’s worth it!
on Thursday, April 30th, 2009 at 12:08 am:
I absolutely loved this post and am so looking forward to meeting the two of you in Vegas!
on Thursday, April 30th, 2009 at 1:03 pm:
This is absolutely and incredibly amazing, loved reading every word of it. It’s great to read something so real yet so positive about marriage, very refreshing.
I hope his goal to quit his job works out along with everything you both plan on doing.
on Thursday, April 30th, 2009 at 7:10 pm:
HOW SWEET! I love your posts :) so true about date night, I still love my nothing nights with my man, although in our case I AM the foot warmer :)
PS hope he achieves his dreams! All he needs is perseverance and belief :)
on Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 10:18 am:
i loved reading this! i’m not married yet, but i share a lot of the same little things with my boyfriend.
on Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 3:35 pm:
MrB is constantly required to tell me that I don’t have cancer too.
on Saturday, May 2nd, 2009 at 12:39 am:
Aww, I loved this post! It was so sweet, so thoughtful and so real! You guys have such a wonderful marriage. Yay for getting married young! Love that wedding photo of you two love birds.
Isn’t it great to have a romantic boy? And one that lets you warm your toes under his leg? And doesn’t care if you wear makeup? Aww, this post made me miss my Johnny! Yeah, I’m trying not to think about the fact that he’s going to be gone for seven days! AHHHH. I’m with you, I don’t even like when he’s gone for three days. eee.
Oh and here’s a comment I wrote back to you –
@ apricot tea
Old Man Marley is the old guy that Macaulay Culkin is scared of. He’s this old widowed guy that the neighborhood kids say actually killed his family or something. But it turns out he’s just a lonely grandpa.
Oh, and we use STAGG Chili Vegetable Garden Four-bean chili. It has beans, corn and bell peppers in it. 99 percent fat free! Only 200 cal per serving.
(I had trouble finding veggie chili at first too. I found this at Food Max. Not sure if you have one of those in LA. I think the flavor is better if you had some sour cream and cheese. And make sure you heat it up on the stove, not the microwave oven.)
on Saturday, May 2nd, 2009 at 12:41 am:
p.s. It’s so great you’re so supportive of your husband’s goals and dreams and trust him so much. I’m sure you guys will make it work! xoxo
on Saturday, May 2nd, 2009 at 1:26 am:
Cute list!
Ditto on number 5! My feets are always freezing and yet Dave is SO warm!
Number 6- messed up!! >:(
Number 13- so sweet. It’s the little things that make your love so adorable! Tell us more!!!
And amen to number 16 too! Way to go Jonathan and good luck to you both in the transition phase!
on Saturday, May 2nd, 2009 at 5:56 pm:
I think I’ve read this like, ten times :D It makes me smile, and reminds me of all the things I enjoy about being married to my own fellow. Especially the makeup part, I love lip gloss but it’s just going to get kissed off XD
on Sunday, May 3rd, 2009 at 4:14 pm:
Awww I found that very beautifully. Its nice to hear about such love and passion. I hope you and your husband have a great future together as that is a rare gem. I feel the same way about my boyfriend :c)
on Monday, May 4th, 2009 at 2:07 pm:
I absolutely ADORE this list. :)
I’m 100% with you on: 1, 3, 8, 11, 14, & 16
And he’ll totally be able to quit his job. You know it’s true. :)
on Friday, May 8th, 2009 at 6:58 am:
what a sweet post!
rocky and i act like 7 year olds half the time, and the other half, 13 year olds. sheesh…
on Friday, May 8th, 2009 at 4:14 pm:
Hi, I’m new to here and that just about melted my heart! I love my boyfriend to pieces but all that sounds so sweet! Glad you’re so happy :)
on Saturday, May 9th, 2009 at 9:56 am:
this list was so beautiful and touching and filled with love. You’ve definitely given me hope ;)
on Monday, May 11th, 2009 at 9:46 am:
Wow how beautiful
It reminds me of how my boyfriend and I are. Who knows he just may be my Jonathan ^_^
on Thursday, May 14th, 2009 at 11:07 pm:
It’s so refreshing to hear about young marriage. I am recently married (and young-haha) and LOVED this post! I read it out loud to my husband and we laughed so hard at how true it all was (he was convinced I had written it!). Keep spreading the good news! (^:
on Friday, May 15th, 2009 at 7:26 am:
Just came across your blog purely by chance and have fallen in love with your style and passionate innocence.
I’ve bookmarked you and will certainly become an avid reader in the future.
Kiss from London
on Thursday, May 28th, 2009 at 5:05 pm:
this is so beautiful and endearing. cheered me up. thanks
on Monday, June 1st, 2009 at 1:32 pm:
ah..I loved this. It’s been a long time girl..sorry I’ve been M.I.A.
on Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 at 2:06 pm:
aw. wow.
i thought i lost faith in marriage.
you started restoring it. thank you.
on Friday, July 24th, 2009 at 4:06 pm:
i LOVED this post. i smiled the whole way through!
mostly because it reminds me SO much of my fiance and I. jonathan sounds just like joshua (my fiance). the warmth thing, reading eastern philosophy, “the look”, never expecting waxing or heels, it’s crazy how similar they seem. they even look alike!
anyway, i enjoyed this so much! you have such a lovely writing style. :)
erin
on Sunday, August 9th, 2009 at 6:11 am:
i know u wrote this a while ago but i had to comment. u guys are adorable. congrats to u. i am married and my hubby and i have so much fun!!! indeed, every nite is date nite and i love it. i got a gq subscription for him and i devour it every month (sometimes more than my own mags). he, too, looks at the pics once and thats it. i get “the look” at times too (i do ask the how do i look ??) but unfort. unlike jonathan i get pressured to wear heels. (like everything else, i rebel) good luck to u both and continue to enjoy each other!
on Sunday, August 9th, 2009 at 6:12 am:
oh yeah, i’ll be sure to check out his blog, too…
on Tuesday, August 11th, 2009 at 8:04 pm:
you are a very gifted writer. being a newlywed myself, i thought this post was very inspiring.
on Thursday, August 20th, 2009 at 11:01 am:
[...] is sort of a sequel to a post I did before. & Jonathan has been waiting rather impatiently for me to post [...]
on Sunday, August 23rd, 2009 at 7:54 am:
[...] 16 things I have learned from being married [...]
on Thursday, January 14th, 2010 at 7:21 pm:
one word BEAUTIFUL!!!