- black rubber bracelets; perfect for layering against other bracelets.
- MAC lipstick in Lady Bug. Sheer & light; a very beautiful color.
- Define-a-Lash mascara, in Very Black; gives the perfect amount of definition, while still looking natural.
- Palmer’s Cocoa Butter. Hydrates dry, calloused skin, & smells exactly like chocolate.
- OPI nail polishes: Cosmo-Not Tonight Honey, & Russian Navy. I’ve been bouncing back & forth between dark & nude lately.
- LUSH bath bomb, Sex Bomb. I love taking baths with my husband, especially with this intoxicating, aphrodisiac bomb. It smells strongly of jasmine & turns the bath water a lovely shade of pink.
- Milani eyeshadow, in Storm.
- Revlon ColorStay mineral foundation (in Dark) & blush (in Roseberry).
- My updated iEscape, (an iPod classic.)
- Music on constant repeat: Air – Talkie Walkie; Portishead – Third; Coldplay – Viva La Vida.
- St. Ives Apricot Scrub; I love it even more knowing that they don’t test on animals.
- Raybans.
- L’Oreal Color Gems, demi-permanent haircolor; preferably in Blue/Black.
- Burt’s Bees honey lip balm. Not my favorite but I do like it.
- The movie, Candy. (Find beautiful stills of this film here.)
[collage courtesy of polyvore.]
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I wanted this collage to be light, fun, & informative. (People are always asking me what products I use; not to mention, I’m trying to “want what I’ve got.”) But now, it seems arrogant, boastful, & gluttonous. (Or, perhaps I am being too hard on myself…)
A few nights ago, as I clutched Jonathan’s new MacBook tightly across my chest, I walked by a young homeless couple, sitting in an alley. I’ve seen them plenty of times before, but I saw them differently right then. There I was, carrying a $1,400 laptop; & there they were… barefooted & begging in the freezing cold. I felt sick with guilt.
For the rest of the night, I felt like I had done something wrong; as if I were a bad person. I kept thinking about all the other people who are in worse situations as myself: people who don’t have jobs; people who are barely hanging on to their homes; people who live off of $1.50 a day; that young homeless couple, with their tattered clothes & their love to keep them warm, especially. & then I thought of myself & how much stuff I have; materialistically. I felt overindulged & remorseful.
& it’s not that I felt this way because we couldn’t afford such a nice computer; we wouldn’t have bought it if we didn’t have the money. I just don’t know how to be happy for myself for having such lovely things; I only know how to feel guilt. I am constantly thinking of others & their misfortunes, which causes me to look at my own life in partial disgust. Again… perhaps I am being too hard on myself.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that Jonathan & I have so much; maybe too much. Expensive cameras, high-tech appliances & gadgets, & other [unnecessary] extravagances. We have never had a Scary Money Moment (ie. not being able to pay certain bills, hitting the negative in our bank account, etc.). We are wise with our money & live well beyond our means; we even have several thousand in savings for emergencies. But the question I keep asking myself is this: Are we blessed, or are we spoiled? & what is the difference between the two?