a raw cupcake by The Raw Goddess.
At the beginning of the year, my husband decided to do a 30 day raw vegan diet trial. A raw diet consists of eating only uncooked, unprocessed foods. It is said that, “heating food above 116 degrees (F) is believed to destroy enzymes in food that can assist in the digestion & absorption of food. Cooking is also thought to diminish the nutritional value & ‘life force’ of food.”
With a raw diet, everything you put into your body must be completely organic, in its natural state.
Basically, this means:
- No dairy; no ice cream, cheese, butter, yogurt, or sour cream.
- No bread; no toast, cookies, cakes or pies, even certain cereals.
- No beer, wine, or soda.
- No pasta, rice, steamed vegetables, or pizza.
(Upon hearing this, I almost cried at the prospect of never eating a cinnamon roll again.)
When Lover told me of this trial, my initial reaction was, “Are you crazy? What will you eat?!” But he assured me that it’s more than possible to survive on a raw diet, though it takes a lot of creativity & patience. Even though I couldn’t understand it, & even though I was terribly skeptical of his new venture,I had nothing left to do but support him.
The trial began on the 1st of January, & it was very hard for me to accept. Reluctantly, I watched him eat raw salads for lunch & dinner, while I made luxurious dinners — spaghetti, baked potatoes & steamed broccoli, pancakes & brownies — all for myself. It was difficult, to say the least. Not so much for him — because he was obviously having a jolly good time — but for my own pride. I felt depressed, realizing that food & its traditions were a huge part of our lives together as a couple. So naturally, I eagerly counted down the days to the ending of his 30 day trial.
A few days before the first of February, I asked Lover if he was excited that his raw diet was ending. I had expected a huge sigh of relief from him, while he exclaimed, “Oh God, yes! The moment it’s over, I’m going to gorge myself on greasy fries & sugary sweets, & not stop!” But instead, he calmly stated that he wasn’t sure he would ever go back to eating cooked food. Ever.
I nearly choked. What?! He couldn’t be serious! What about peanut butter cup Blizzards from Dairy Queen? What about In & Out grilled cheese, & french fries? What about hashbrowns, smothered in ketchup & salt? What about candy bars, & fettuccine alfredo pasta, & Belgian waffles?! But no; unfortunately he was dead serious. He had already made up his mind, & there was nothing I could do to convince him otherwise. Needless to say, I was terribly upset by this decision.
I just couldn’t understand why he would want to make such a drastic decision, a decision that would completely alter our lives together. I felt selfish for only thinking of myself, & how much this would inconvenience us, but I couldn’t help it.
During his 30 day raw diet trial, a lot of things changed. I noticed a major increase in our grocery bill. Unfortunately, organic food is not cheap. Not to mention, when you’re mostly buying produce, you must eat it within days or else it will spoil quickly. There were times when Lover would go to the grocery store 3-4 times a week, restocking on organic bananas, lettuce, & other produce. It was a bit much, to say the least.
I also noticed that I was feeling very separated from him. Breakfast, lunch, & dinner was usually spent with us doing different things, & I wasn’t used to that. Sometimes we didn’t eat together, because he was busy fixing his raw salads. Sometimes I would order a small pizza, & eat it all by myself. I had to retrain myself to not say things like, “Oh, Babe, you’ve GOT to try this pasta! It’s amazing!” It’s as though we were doing separate things from each other, & I didn’t like that.
During our arguments about this, I couldn’t help but ask, “So, what are we going to do at Thanksgiving, when we go over to see our families? It’s bad enough that neither of our families are vegetarian, but for you to be raw vegan, you will not be able to eat anything! & it’ll be such an inconvenience. What are we going to do about that?” Lover could only assure me that everything would be alright in the end.
So now, he is now going on his third month of eating a mostly raw vegan diet. He doesn’t eat dairy, unless it’s just to taste something of mine. He rarely eats cooked things anymore, & if he does it’s in a small portion, only to suffice me. He now considers himself 80% – 90% raw vegan.
I am not going to sit here & say everything is peachy keen now; it’s not. I still struggle with his decision, because it directly effects me. I miss my junk food eating husband; I miss us going out at midnight to get sweets & salties together. Mostly, I miss cooking for him, & I miss sharing meals together. As I said before, I never realized how much food, & its traditions, were apart of our lives.
Now, I could adopt his raw vegan diet — even if it means just partially — to compromise & make things easier. The reason I can’t, & the reason I won’t, is because I enjoy food far too much to substitute absolutely everything…
Imagine making “sour cream” out of pureed macadamia nuts. Imagine substituting “rice” for finely chopped, raw cauliflower. Or, substituting sugar for agave syrup. Imagine eating spaghetti, with the “noodles” being raw zucchini. Simply put: I couldn’t do it, & I wouldn’t want to. I could not sacrifice the amazing tastes of certain foods for the sake of having a raw diet, even if it is “healthier.” I happen to think I eat very healthy-like, & I have no desire to change my lifestyle.
I CAN say, though, that I completely admire my husband’s undying search for a better life. I admire his courage to seek out challenging & controversial ways to make our world a better place. (Because by being a raw vegan, you no longer have to rely on factories to prepare & process your food. You rely solely on the Earth, & that results in less energy & packaging to produce this food.)
When I first asked Lover why he would even consider such a diet, he said, “Why not, if it means that it’s better & healthier than my diet now, & that my life will improve from it?” I should argue with that, but how could I?
Despite the drawbacks, the challenges, the tantrums (on my part), & the sacrifices, I’m learning a lot from his decision to be a raw vegan:
- I’m learning to accept that we now have some very interesting food in our house: flax seed, nutritional yeast (which supposedly tastes a lot like cheese), raw cacao beans, & coconut carcasses.
- I’m learning not to take his decision personally; as if MY world is going to cave in because of his unconventional choice to be a raw vegan. I have to constantly remind myself that even though this change is a huge, it doesn’t change who he is as a person.
- I’m learning to be more lenient to the idea of certain foods. Granted, I have not yet tried any of his raw dishes — they’ve never appealed to me — but the sheer idea of the dishes are growing on me, if that makes sense. I mean, how could your mouth not water looking at raw dishes like these, or these? (& yes, those dishes are 100% raw.)
- I’m also learning to not have silly envy over his VitaMix, a rather large, $400 blending machine that is, as he puts it, “a necessity for a raw food diet.” He had been begging & pleading to have this Monster for God knows how long, & once he finally purchased it, he literally drooled. I was actually quite surprised that he didn’t snuggle up with it on the couch & makeout with it a little bit. Nevertheless, I’m trying to be open-minded to “the other woman appliance” in our relationship.
& while I have no plans on being a raw vegan myself, I [try to] support him with all of my being.
I am still learning how to accept this change; we both are. We do our best to stay “together” in this, rather than living seemingly separate lives regarding food. It is still very difficult, but we’re managing the best way we can. Lover seems completely content & unscathed in his decision. I haven’t once seen him struggle, or regret his choice to be raw vegan. If anything, watching him do something so daring & difficult — because really, how many restaurants DON’T cook their food? — inspires me to take more risks in my own life; with food, with life, with everything.
On a lighter note, when I now make something scrumptious in the kitchen that is cooked, instead of feeling depressed because I have no one to share it with, I immediately think, “More for me!”
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