When I was 15, I was completely fascinated by makeup, & convinced that I was going to be a makeup artist. I wanted to be exactly like Bobbi Brown, doing makeup for celebrities & models. I thought it was the perfect plan; I’ve always wanted to be a model, but since I wasn’t tall enough (& far too camera shy), that dream flew out the window. So, by being a makeup artist, I would still be in the industry but not in front of the camera. Brilliant.
I’m a bit sad to say that at 21 years old, I am not a makeup artist; not even close. Instead, I am an ex-hairstylist (a story I have yet to tell, for fear of critical judgment), which is the closest I’ve ever gotten to “makeup artist” status. I wear about as much makeup as a piece of cardboard. (Okay, that is a bit of an exaggeration, but it sounds creatively accurate.) I never really liked the whole idea of smothering my face with oils, pigments, & chemicals for the sake of beauty. Doing it to other people is a different story, of course.
Even though I’m no longer wishing to be a makeup artist — especially after walking into a MAC store, where the “makeup artists” work, to see that every girl has caked on goop over their eyes, faces, & lips; no thank you! — I still have an unquenchable passion for it. I can’t explain why; it’s just extremely fascinating to me. Even with the oils, pigments, & chemicals, I love it.
Thus, The Beauty Book was born. I made it in 2003, to help inspire me every time I put on a new face of makeup. With every magazine I read, I would closely examine the model’s makeup. If I liked it, I had no qualms about ripping out the page — or cutting it — to put inside of my Beauty Book. & then I would mimic exactly what I saw in the picture with drugstore beauty products. This kept me entertained for months.
I stopped contributing to the book once I started beauty school, & I haven’t opened it since… until recently.
After sitting on the hard floor, peering into the pages of my long forgotten book, I began to feel inspired. So I decided to put on some red lipstick & snap a few photos… even though I had no where to go, & was looking like a bit of a bum.
There is something so shameless about red lipstick. It’s sexy, it’s daring, it’s loud, & it’s very hard to pull off. After walking around the house in grubby clothes, while wearing the red lipstick for a few hours, I decided that maybe it’s not meant for me… until I saw the pictures. It looks gorgeous on film (which reinforces my feelings of it being “fantastical”.) But in person, it looks too “in your face!!!” Not to mention, that stuff gets everywhere. Your face, your teeth, your fingertips…
It was then I realized why I never really like fussing with makeup so much anymore: it’s too messy. & taking it off is an adventure in itself. Even so, makeup will always be alluring to me.
(& if you ever need any makeup/beauty tips, I am chalk full of them. Email me!)