My Thanksgiving was spent at my mother’s house, with my sister, her lover, & my other 2 siblings/doggies, Sam & Selah. The drive there — nearly 2 hours away — was horrendous, thanks to the rain & unnecessary traffic. The whole time I was driving, I wanted to turn back; not just because of the terrible freeway conditions, but because holidays are not my most favorite thing in the world. (I am a regular Apricot Scrooge; I simply loathe holidays.) But, as soon as I arrived at my mom’s house, I felt calm, peaceful & comfortable. & so began my new admiration for holidays & family gatherings.
We laughed, we gossiped; we took lots of pictures & cracked jokes. We cooked & made a horrible mess in the kitchen. My mother always uses her good china for Thanksgiving, so we ate off of Italian plates, which was a wedding present from my grandmother. We ate far too much & sat around with our hands on our tummies, bulging but proud. We played Wii & found out that I am rather good at bowling, & Lover is rather good at boxing. We stayed up late (until about 2am) talking about everything under the sun & eventually fell asleep. For the first time in a while, I felt the serenity of being in my mother & sister’s presence, so strongly that it engulfed me with love & admiration for them both.
What I wore on Thanksgiving: shirt, from Ross; vest & drop crotch pants (!!!), from Target; scarf, from Cali; shoes, from DSW; tights from H&M.
For the first time, though, we didn’t do our tradition, which is to go around the table & say what we’re grateful for for the year of 2008. I feel sad that we forgot to do this (we were obviously having way too much fun) so I’d like to do it here.
I am so thankful for:
my wonderful, devilishly handsome husband, who makes me smile like no one can.
my beautiful mother & sister, who remind me of who I am & where I’ve been daily.
the men in their lives that give them the highest hopes & reasons to keep smiling.
my Sofie Aiko, who keeps me from feeling the need to have a baby.
common sense & my budding discretion against irrational thinking.
my bulging wardrobe; even more so, these amazing drop crotch pants that I’ve been DYING to have for months. Might I add that these pants were under $20 & the very last on Target’s rack. I am so lucky & in love with these pants.
my husband’s hard work to keep me happy & content.
music, nonsensical dreams, CSI: Las Vegas, & monkey bread.
the rain.
good health, good spirits, & good vegetarian food.
every single comment I have gotten on this blog (even the not-so-nice ones), as well as every single reader. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
my marriage; it’s healthy, it’s strong, & it’s been a beautiful a year with him.
Cape dress & scarf, from Cali; jeans & sandals, from Ross; cardigan, from Charlotte Russe.
My sister, tangerine, came over yesterday, which prompted me to do a little shopping. (I’ve been good, after all, having not bought anything for myself in a few months.)
Tangerine & I ventured around the mall & stopped at one store (which is called Cali) that I had never heard of, but had the most amazing clothes. I can’t really explain the vibe of the clothing there, but the best I can do is to describe it as “urban bohemian.” Hard edges, flowy fabrics; unconventional layers, sporadic pleating, & uneven hemlines. In a word: amazing. I was in love; in sheer Heaven.
We spent about an hour in the store — which was having a major sale, by the way — going through racks & racks of dresses, jumpers, long tank tops, & scarves. I wanted everything, but before I made an impulsive decision, I called Lover to warn him.
Me: Hi Honey. Lover: Hi… still shopping? Me: Mhm. We’re at a store right now & it’s… it’s just amazing, honey. Lover: (laughs) Oh yeah? What’s this store? Me: I don’t know! I’ve never heard of it before, but oh my god, Honey; the clothes are to die for! Like, if you were here, you would totally drop dead & foam at the mouth because everything is so cool! (He wouldn’t dare drop dead, by the way. It was just a much needed exaggeration.) Lover: (laughs, again) Oh yeah? Well, that’s cool Honey. I’m glad you’re having a good time. Me: Yeah… well, I was actually calling… to um, ask you something… Lover: Okay… what’s up? Me: …What’s my budget? Lover: (laughs more) That bad, huh, that you need a budget? Me: Well, I’m just wanting to be sure because if I decide to come home with an armful of clothes, I don’t want you to shoot me, you know? I need to know my boundaries, honey, so I won’t overstep them. I don’t want you to kill me. Lover: I see. Me: So, how much could I spent without you killing me for it? Lover: (sighs) I’d say… keep it under $60; no more than that. Me: (swooning) Awwww, honey. You’re so generous! I can totally do that! Thank you, honey!
& while I could have taken complete advantage of his offer by barely missing the $60 mark — $59.97, perhaps — I spent under $50, that including the grey cardigan I found at another store, the plaid scarf & this interesting cape dress, which had me completely at “take me home.”
I don’t know why I love this dress so much, because on the rack it looked too weird to even be reasonable. & even while wearing it, it looks awkward. But it’s the awkwardness, I think, that makes it look so smashing.
I feel slightly gothic, slightly boyish, slightly lame in this dress. It’s perfect, to say the least.
EDIT; I have a favor to ask of you. Please vote for me as the Best Real Style of 2008. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you like this sort of thing) you have to register to place your vote, but it would be MUCH appreciated. I decided that instead of sitting on the sidelines watching people get competitive, I’ll give it a go & try to win. So, register at The Supermelon, & vote for me. :]
(This picture was taken on the day we got back from Long Beach. I was actually examining a receipt when Lover took the picture, but for some reason I like it anyway. Maybe it’s because I look like this most of the time: a little sullen, really thoughtful & completely consumed with what I am fiddling with…)
Here are the part 2 Q&As, & not a minute too late…
What is your idea of a “perfect day?”
Sleeping in until 10am, with Lover off of work. Making a big breakfast — his famous hashbrowns, cinnamon rolls, decaffeinated coffee & bananas — & then running senseless errands together. Even if it’s just going to the grocery store, it doesn’t matter. I love to be with him. Then, during the evening, making a scrumptious dinner of spaghetti & bread, & we’ll talk about everything. We’ll finish the night with either a movie or playing old school Super Nintendo. (We actually had that day today, minus the cinnamon rolls.)
Do you have any favorite television shows?
Oh yes! I adore CSI: Las Vegas; so much that I’m actually re-watching all of the seasons via Netflix.
I also love The Twilight Zone, I Love Lucy (even though I’ve seen every episode, it never gets old), &, when it was on, Tell Me You Love Me. Okay, & I’ll be honest: I fancy court shows, like Judge Judy & The People’s Court. Lover hates this, but I find them so interesting!
What’s your favorite place in the whole world?
My apartment. It’s my refuge; the only place where I can really let my hair down.
You at 35:
Wow, I can only imagine what I would be like at 35. Is it a cop out to say that I haven’t a clue? Sorry to disappoint you, but I live my life minute by minute; I try not to think about the future (it’s a nasty habit). The time is Now, of course.
What do you miss most about being at home?
(I’m assuming you’re referring to my being unemployed.) I miss interaction with others. While I can say I’m quiet & partially shy, I love helping people & making conversations. The best job I ever had was a receptionist position at a Salon. I loved that more than being a hairstylist. I formed relationships with the clients, talked to them on a daily basis & most of them were the sweetest people. I miss having that connection with strangers & feeling like I’m making an impact in someone’s life.
What’s the best and hardest part of being married to Jonathan?
The best part: he’s so good to me. He is constantly telling me that I’m beautiful, that I’m sexy & wonderful. He compliments my cooking, on the things I do around the house. He really makes me blush & swoon, without giving me a big head about it. He’s just so sweet & loving & kind to me. Much more tender than I could have imagined a man to be. I’m blessed in that way, I think.
The worst part: We’re both very emotional people, & while that can be a good thing (we can relate to each other & our feelings) it can be hard to deal with. Our feelings get hurt easily & we’re both sensitive to words. While I don’t think this is the worst, I do feel like it can be an inconvenience sometimes, especially when we’re fighting.
Do you enjoy board games? What kind?
I love to play Scrabble with Jonathan. We play that most often. I’m trying to be as good as he & my mother; they’re both amazing strategists, & they both have a fluent vocabulary. & I do, too, but I often focus too much on the words & not the strategy (getting a high score). So I get frustrated & I lose.
Jonathan & I also play “Big 2″ — Chinese poker. He is an amazing card player. He knows how to shuffle like the pros, & watching him do it turns me on. (I’m easily amused.)
How tall are you?
I am in between 5′6” & 5′7”. I honestly think I would have modeled if I were tall enough, but alas, I am not.
What made you decide to cut your hair so short?
I wanted a drastic change. I wanted to be different. There is a lot of taboo surrounding women & pixie cuts. A lot of people feel that long, luscious locks of hair equals femininity, & that if you cut your hair off, you’re also cutting off your distinct allure as a woman. I refused to believe that nonsense, & wanted to prove that it’s entirely possible to sport short locks, while still maintaining girlish beauty & charm. I guess you could say that I was feeling rebellious, tired of the stereotypical “woman”, tired of seeing girls (especially black girls) trying to keep their “hair” long with weaves & extensions. While I admit I’ve wanted to have long hair, I know that it’s not meant to be. It’s inevitable: my hair doesn’t grow in that way — unlike my sister, who has thick locks of black, long hair.
So… I cut it all off one day on a whim. I barely even thought about it. & from there, I never went back; how could I, when I see photos like these? & I don’t think I’ll ever grow my hair out again. Short hair suits me completely.
What is your favorite article of clothing?
American Apparel t-shirts. They’re so comfortable that you could sleep in them if you wanted to, but they’re nice enough so that you could pair it with anything: skirts, tights, skinny jeans, etc.
Would you ever try to create clothes? (Or maybe you have already!)
I am not patient enough to sew my own clothes, though I wish I was. I tried to crotchet a scarf once & after 3 years, I STILL haven’t completed it. I quickly lose interest in things that take huge amounts of time & patience. But I do small alterations with my clothes. I cut pants into shorts, shorts into even shorter shorts; I also mend things, like buttons & tears. I know how to sew, because my mother taught me. I just don’t have a sewing machine, nor do I have a place for it.
How do you manage your wardrobe & your budget?
Believe it or not, my wardrobe consists of pieces & items I’ve had for years; some pieces I’ve had since I was in 9th grade & you’d never be able to tell because they’re classic & timeless. Every time I shop, I have that in mind. I always ask, “Okay… it’s cute now, but will it be cute in 2 years?” When I do buy items, they’re usually under $20. Not just because I don’t have hundreds to spend, but because I hate spending a lot of money on my clothes. I spend $20 a month on clothes for me. If not that, then every other month. I’ve been trying to be better at what I bring home because I really don’t need anymore clothes.
What are the items you just have to splurge on?
Those Raybans were definitely a splurge. That’s the most money ($120) I’ve ever spent on one item in my whole life! I’ll also splurge on something I know I need to have, like a good coat or a sturdy bag. That doesn’t happen too often, though, because I really have everything I need. I wish I shopped at thrift stores more, but I haven’t found any neat ones where I live.
When did you step out of your fashion box and become comfortable with your style? And what advice do you have for me so people can see my inner stylista?
I’d say when I was around 15; I stopped caring so much about my peers & more about my own personal tastes. I got a lot of magazines then (CosmoGirl, Seventeen, ElleGirl, & Teen Vogue) & instead of me just looking at the pictures, I studied them. I cut out pictures that inspired me & tried to emulate the styles I saw by going to thrift stores & finding pieces that resembled the outfit. Lately, I haven’t been as inspired by magazines because I feel like I’ve grown to know my own style. But it was definitely something I had to discover.
The best advice I could give is to be yourself; explore your likes & dislikes. Buy a fashion magazine (Elle, Vogue, etc.) & look at the spreads. Really examine the way they ensemble the outfits. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Ask yourself some questions: What is my favorite color? Do I prefer leather or lace? Do I like to dress up more than I like to be comfortable & casual? Find a celebrity whose style you admire. Go through your closet, mix & match with layers & textures. Just play around with the imagination you’ve got! & have fun with it. Fashion isn’t as serious as most people make it seem. It’s supposed to be an enjoyable expression of who you really are.
Ask yourself: If I were embody my personality in an outfit, what would it look like? What items would I pick? What colors would the shoes be? The options are endless, especially if you’re creative!
Oh, & don’t do it for “people”; do it for YOU. :]
With the year coming to an end, if you were to write your own autobiography what would this chapter be called and why?
I had to think about this for a while, but it would probably be called “Learning to Breathe & Forgive.” I have gone through a lot in the past year, & I think the most important thing for me to remember during those times was to breathe. Whether it was because of anxiety, anger, sadness or fear… breathing keeps my body & my mind in sync. I didn’t always remember that in the past, but I’m getting the hang of it; so much that I had it tattooed on my wrist.
& I am truly trying to master the art of forgiveness. Because I think it’s so funny that I can forgive others so easily; even give them a 4th chance! But when I make a screw up, I damn myself, & that isn’t fair. I am learning to forgive myself for those mistakes & loving myself in spite of them.
Be careful what you wish for, indeed! I got dozens & dozens of interesting & thought-provoking questions sent to me. Some of them were fun to answer — no brainers — but most of them were so deep that I was having trouble answering them. There were a lot of questions about my reason behind marrying so young. Believe it or not, the decision was so naturally done that I’ve never even asked myself that question. I never had to… until now.
I want to thank each of you who asked me these questions. I enjoyed answering them & I truly hope that knowing these answers will give you a better understanding of who I am. Because, regardless if we’re separated by a computer screen, I consider most of you dear friends.
Here are the questions, answered 100% honestly.
Is that your real name? If so, what does it mean? Yes, Ev’Yan is my real name. Currently, it doesn’t have a meaning. It came from the creative imagination of my mother, & she never gave it a meaning. She said that I can give it a meaning if I so choose. & I think I will, once I discover more about myself & feel more comfortable in my skin
How old are you? I just turned 21 on the 15th of September. & I am so flattered that the person who asked this question thought I was between 22-23. My mother always said I was “wise beyond my years.”
What made you decide to get married so young? (I got this question asked the most.) Nothing particularly “made” me get married young. I suppose I just knew that he was the one for me & it felt right to be with him for the rest of my life. Not only that, but I always knew that I would get married at a young age; even when I was little, I envisioned getting married in my early twenties. I would not have done it if it didn’t feel right.
What were your/your loved ones’ major concerns about marrying young? I didn’t have any real concerns about getting married young, per se. I did fear — & still do — that my marriage will result in divorce, much like my parents & Lover’s parents. Otherwise, both of us were ready to face the challenges when we said “I do.” We were both raised in such a way that we realize marriage is more than a piece of paper; it’s an undying friendship & a reliable support system. We’re each other’s best friends & I think that’s what matters most. We’re also partners in crime.
My family (mother, father & younger sister) were VERY supportive & I think it’s because they know me so well. They know that their daughter/sister makes sound choices from her heart & they had nothing left to do but rejoice when they found out we had eloped. My parents adore Jonathan; we’re all one big happy family. We get along very well. Lover’s family also accepts his decision, & I love them like they were my own. There was no shock value when they found out we got married; they were just surprised that we chose to do it on Christmas, of all nights
Do you think you’ll ever regret getting married at a young age? Never. How could I regret spending the rest of my life with the love of my life? Age is only a number, after all.
How is married life? Married life is an adventure! It’s never-ending learning experience. It’s natural & full of love. It’s all about communication & honesty. It’s about letting your guard down, but sometimes keeping it up just to let vulnerability seep in. Yes, he gets on my nerves (as I do with him, I know) but it’s so much more deeper than that. It’s a promise.
Are you planning on having babies? There are no plans for babies right now. I can honestly say that we’re leaning towards not having children at all. Call us selfish, but we cannot imagine devoting all of our time & energy into another little soul. & frankly, we’re not ready to be parents. Not now, at least. Our puppy, Sofie, is enough to keep the maternal feelings at bay.
Do you ever envision yourself becoming a mother? No, I don’t. & I think that’s why having a baby is out of the question right now. Although… we often talk about what our future kids would look like. The curiosity is enough to keep us hopeful, but not enough to actually have babies. The saying “It’s a nice place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there” completely embodies my feelings about kids. They’re cute, they’re adorable… as long as they’re not mine. (& yes, I’m sure my mind will change.)
What’s the story behind your dog’s name? When I first got Sofie, I knew I wanted her name to be special & endearing. Not a typical “Spot” or “Fifi” or “Princess.” I looked at baby names, actually, on the internet & found that I loved the name “Sophie” which is very French sounding. I changed the spelling to “Sofie” to give it some unconventionality. I wanted to give her a middle name, too, that had some meaning. I found “Aiko” which in Japanese means “little loved one.” That also had some sentiment because Shih Tzus are of Asian decent. I think her name — Sofie Aiko — suits her perfectly.
What do you do apart from your blog? I paint, I read (currently rotating 4 books: Lord of the Flies, My Secret Garden, Peace is Every Step & The Power of Now; I read them depending on my mood before bed); I’m getting into jewelry making & hope to start selling them if people like them enough. I also give advice, which is something that has happened by accident. People are constantly writing me, asking for advice about fashion & beauty choices. Because this is becoming so second nature for me, I’ve decided to devote a whole blog to it (askapricot.com) which is in the process of launching! I wanted to keep it a surprise, but oh well!
What’s a dream you’d like to fulfill in your lifetime? I would love to help benefit the treatment of animals, whether it’s them being in shelters or to stop poaching. Animals are a huge passion for me; more so now that I’m vegetarian. I hate knowing that so many animals are getting put to sleep daily; I hate knowing that so many animals are being neglected & mistreated. I wish I could save them all: the whales, the elephants, the seals & the dolphins. They don’t have a voice & I’d love to be able to give them one.
Why are you a vegetarian? Being vegetarian was always something I wanted to do, but I never had the guts (or the willpower) to do it. Upon meeting Jonathan, I was faced with the prospect again, because he had been vegetarian since he was 16. For the first year of us dating (& by then, we were living with each other), shopping & cooking for 2 different agendas — a meat eater & a vegetarian — became difficult. Meat is not cheap, after all! Knowing that & watching Jonathan be so diligent in his efforts to stay true to what he believed, helped me transition smoothly.
What’s your favorite kind of animal? I love elephants! When I was little, I used to adore this show called The Elephant Show, & that started my love for them. I actually collect elephants — little porcelain figurines — & have about a dozen in a box somewhere around here. Elephants are smart creatures. They’re huge, but very gentle & emotional. They literally never forget & they live for a very long time. That’s admirable to me. If I had to be an animal, I’d be an elephant.
Do you see yourself living in California forever? Definitely not! Lover & I both want to move out to Seattle someday. The only thing holding me back is moving away from my mother & sister. I already live 2 hours away from them & that kills me! I can’t imagine being a few states away… I’d also love to live in Canada. We both would.
dress, from Target; shoes from Ross; beanie, from American Apparel; green bag, from H&M.
I’m so thrilled that my little “vlog” was a hit! & I’m glad that my silliness was taken lightly. If I can find a reason to do it again, I will. It was a lot of fun, & I was happy to know that I put smiles on other’s faces. (I encourage you to make your own little video. & when you do, let me know when it’s up, because I want see!)
So… it seems like everyone is doing a “Q&A” on their blogs, & I’ve decided to follow suit, hoping that I won’t regret it later:
Ask me anything. No matter how personal, ridiculous, or seemingly offensive… I will answer it. Ask the question(s) directly to my email (evyan.nasman@yahoo.com) & in my next post, I will answer them.
This is something I’ve always wanted to do; perhaps it’s because there are questions I’d like to ask people/strangers, no matter how random or insignificant. Or maybe it’s because I secretly enjoy revealing things about myself (my husband says I’m good at this).
Whichever way, I am willingly putting myself in the hot seat, so please take advantage.
What would you like to know about me? What questions would you like answered? How nosey are you willing to get? ;]
After some hesitation & a few technical difficulties, I present to you my very first vlog, in an effort to formally introduce myself (because writing can only go so far for the imagination). My only hope is that my goofiness will not scare any of you away…
I really enjoyed making this little video; mostly because I was behind the camera, not so much in front of it. I generally tend to hate video recording myself because the sound of own my voice is unfamiliar. Also, I meant to make the video a lot shorter… but I couldn’t stop talking! That aside, I think it turned out pretty well (if I may say so myself, of course).
WARNING: Only watch this little video if you’re willing to see the inside of my boring apartment (in my defense, we’ve only lived here for about 3 months, so the decorating is a work in progress), Sofie being a snob, an atrociously gluttonous closet & some amateur harmonica playing. Otherwise, enjoy!
Firstly… I have beenfeatured at Always in Style (!!!). & this is my favorite one so far. Thank you so very much, Kim, for the honor. I’m so excited (& I just can’t hide it!). Wooo!
shirt, from American Apparel (courtesy of trendyblanks.com); boyfriend pants, from Target; sandals, from Ross; jewelry is very miscellaneous.
[I also want to extend a HUGE thank you to itsokaytosweat, who, with her lovely comment in my last post, unknowingly helped me pinpoint the very basis of most of my style statements: Casual Chic. Her description is perfect; it's just what I've been trying to express in my ensembles. So bravo, & thank you kindly!]
Now… I have a confession to make: I am terrible with navigation. Absolutely horrible. I confuse my rights with lefts, & my Souths with Norths. My directions are usually muddled & confusing… I get lost constantly. (Many thanks to my mother, who finds herself lost on a daily basis & somehow makes an adventure out of it. I surely inherited this lovable trait from her.)
So knowing this, why do I always find myself getting asked the question “Do you know where such&such is?” & why do I always find myself answering, even when I know that I don’t know?
Over the last 24 hours, I’ve had this happen to me twice. Two people drove by me & randomly asked, “Excuse me, do you know where the blahblahblah building is?” In the first few seconds, I wanted to shout, “No! I have no idea. Sorry.” But on impulse, I found myself saying, “Oh yeah sure… you just make a left, go down a few miles & it’s on your right; you can’t miss it!” & the whole time I was improvising. I had no flipping clue where these places where, but I wanted to help so I did my best to sound convincing. Shameful.
& how do I feel about this? Terrible, because I can’t help but think of all the people I’ve “helped” that are probably still aimlessly wandering, trying to find their destination based on my screwy directions. I don’t know why I try to help even when I know I can’t; it’s an instant reaction. I can’t stop it.
I often wonder why people want to ask ME in the first place. I mean, do I look like that much of a city girl? Do I look like I know where I’m going? I must. & while it’s flattering, it doesn’t produce results.
So, let this be a warning to you: if you see me driving, or walking down the busy streets of Pasadena, & you are lost, do not ask me for directions. Pretend you don’t even see me; briskly walk on by. RUN even. (I won’t be offended.) Ask someone else who looks intelligent & worldy. Don’t ask me! Even more so if you’re running late to this destination; I will only make you later, trust me. Unless you feel like having an adventure, perhaps do a little sight seeing on your way to your appointment, don’t ask me for directions.
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