09|15|2008
21st birthday girl.
Today is my birthday; I am 21-years-old (finally, for heaven’s sake!) & desperately hoping to get used to this new age. It’s strange when you’ve been a certain age for so long. Really, I’ve only been twenty for one year (obviously), but why does it feel much longer? As though it’s been three years? I’ve grown quite accustomed to being twenty; so much that it’s become a part of my outer identity. But really, inside of myself, I feel much older. Older than 21, younger than 25. It’s always been this way. I always feel a few years older than what I chronologically am. My mother says it’s because I am “wise beyond my years.” I concur.
Even though today is my 21st year, I’ve been “celebrating” since Friday (the 12th). & while most newly-legals go hogwild with their new [drinking] privileges, I’ve opted for quiet evenings at home. Not one sip of alcohol was/will be consumed, & hardly any “partying” was/will be done. Does that make me boring? Probably. But am I content? Absolutely.
This has been one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. Except for last year… when Lover proposed to me on my twentieth birthday. Yes, I’ll never forget that birthday; although… I must admit that the memories of that day almost slipped my mind. His proposing seems so far away now; again, like it was 3 years ago. Strange.
On Friday, I wore this…
shirt, leg-warmers, fishnets & cardigan, all from Target (bought at different times, of course); shoes, from DSW; jewelry is my own.
… while getting this early birthday present:
It means“breathe” in Sanskrit. I’ve been wanting to get this tattoo for years & woke up with the hankering to get it on Friday. & I did. Originally, I was going to do the word in plain English, but decided against it once I saw how beautiful it looked translated into Sanskrit.
I admit to knowing that this idea has been done before by somebody famous, which I feel is slightly irrelevant. I, personally, have wanted to get this tattoo as a simple reminder to “breathe”; because I do forget to breathe sometimes & our breath is the most important thing we can do to bring us back into the present moment.
While dealing with bouts of severe anxiety, my therapist would remind me of the importance of my own breath, & how that can benefit me if I was ever having a panic attack. During those maddening times, I would often forget to breathe, which would bring me deeper & deeper into panic & despair. Just thinking about all of that again makes me quite sad.
Today I feel like I’ve come full circle. While I don’t feel anxiety as often — except for the occasional, very normal butterflies in my stomach — I feel like this tattoo is still very important for me to have. Not just because breathing is a beautiful, powerful thing, but because it reminds me how much I’ve grown as a person, as a woman, in these last few years.
I’m not sure what else I will do today. Since I’ve been “celebrating” since Friday, I feel like my birthday has already been rejoiced. I don’t have a need for more good wishes or to be the center of attention.
I’m just happy to be alive today; happy that my husband took the day off so that we could spend my 21st year together; & happy that I finally go to the bar with him to watch UFC pay-per-view fights.
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 11:04 am:
[...] Go to the author’s original blog: 21st birthday girl. [...]
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 11:09 am:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
And I LOVE your tattoo — it’s beautifully done. I admire your guts to get it on your wrist. I’ve considered getting one there myself, but keep chickening out! I have one tattoo right now, but have been thinking about getting a second one which would be a symbol that means the same as yours — breathe. So simple and beautiful.
Congratulations and have a wonderful day!
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 11:17 am:
Oh, Happy Birthday! I loved turning 21, it’s so nice to be able to go everywhere. And that tattoo is beautiful.
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 11:50 am:
Oh happy happy birthday darling. I just stuck a letter in the mail for you with the same sediments, but even still I hope your day is amazing. And I love your tattoo. It’s beautiful. I hope your day is amazing.
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 12:31 pm:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! (Love the tattoo!)
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 12:47 pm:
Turing 21 was kind of weird for me, too. It’s like, all of a sudden, there are so many more things that are now LEGAL. I felt like I was still too young. So Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy it, and your new tattoo is fantastic!
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 12:57 pm:
Happy birthday! And I love that outfit, very cool!
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 2:44 pm:
happy birthday!!!xx
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 2:47 pm:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
tattoo is beautiful – how much did it hurt?? i’ve always thought that the wrist would be the most painful.
and here’s to a great day spent with your hubby!
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 3:09 pm:
Hi,
My name is Audrey Rogers. I am style editor for The Durham Sanctuary University Newpaper, I also am a contributor for fashionverbatim.net and have my own blog: http://www.befrassy.com. I just wanted to say, that I LOVE your blog, its content is truly inspirational and I love the way you present fashion to your blogger audience. Yours has, I must admit, become a must-read for me. Anyway, I was wondering, would you like to exchange links? Personally I would love to reccommend your blog to my readers and would really appreciate it if you did the same for me. So let me know, check me out on http://www.befrassy.com, for some delicious fashion ramblings and digressions!
xxxx audrey leighton rogers
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 4:33 pm:
Happy birthday, my dear Ev’yan! :)
First of all, I completely understand what you mean about the whole concept of time thing. Sometimes I feel like my wedding was just yesterday, and at the same time, I feel like I’ve been with Jay forever. It’s odd how that is, isn’t it?
I hope you enjoy twenty-one! It’s a great age. And I totally don’t judge you on not being a party girl. Your type of celebration is much more my style, if I’m being completely honest with myself (which I’m attempting to do more nowadays!). I always feel like I have to rationalize it, too, which is silly. You are being you; you are having the type of birthday week YOU want, so there! That’s all that matters.
I adore your tattoo! It is absolutely beautiful. I love the writing. My tattoo is sort of the same idea. It’s on my lower back (yeah, yeah, “tramp stamp” and all that…) and it’s two Chinese characters that mean “blessed”. I got it when I turned 20, and I knew it’s what I wanted to get right away. I always wanted to remember the pure joy of that point in my life, when “blessed” is the one word that I felt could describe my life perfectly. I still try to remember to feel that way whenever I think of it.
Have a lovely birthday!
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 5:53 pm:
Happy Birthday! Love the new Tattoo and you will ADORE being 21. It was my favorite age so far.
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 7:45 pm:
Happy Blackjack Birthday!
Yay for September birthdays! My 21st was Saturday. I’m not big on parties and grand celebrations either. So I had a little restaurant outing with the fam where I bought the first alcoholic drink I could legally buy. Didn’t [really] want it–just wanted to buy it :-) Sad, huh?
I love your tattoo! Yes, please, always remember to breathe!
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 7:46 pm:
Happy birthday!
Your tattoo is beautiful. It’s the perfect reminder; both universal and everlasting, I think. It actually reminded me of someone else famous; I remember reading that when John Lennon met Yoko Ono for the first time at an art gallery showing her work, without speaking she handed him a white business card with the single word, “Breathe.”
I am turning 21 next week & reading about someone else’s birthday makes me a little more excited for it; I had been feeling kind of nonchalant towards the whole thing, though I’m not sure why. I think it’s similar to what you’re talking about, feeling a little older. It’s almost as if I’ve been 21 before…if that makes sense.
Anyway, I hope you have a very beautiful year…or three years!!
on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 10:41 pm:
happiest of happy birthdays lady! hope it was fabulous.
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 1:05 am:
Happy birthday:)
I love your tattoo, and really like your outfit!
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 1:11 am:
Happy Birthday Ev’yan!
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 2:02 am:
Happy birthday! (Sorry it’s late)
I Hope you have a great 22nd year!
I always feel younger than I am. I’ve only just got over the feeling that I’m 18 (I’m 25), and now I’m kind of stuck on ‘20 or something thereabouts’… I think I might be a little bit immature for my age ;-)
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 4:03 am:
Happy Birthday
I love that tattoo, I am so tempted to get one on my wrist now.
There is nothing wrong celebrating your birthday without alcohol, I didn’t drink any on my birthday. As long as you had a good time is all that matters.
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 6:09 am:
Have a sueper-birthday!
Love the dress!
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 7:01 am:
Happy Birthday! (I’m sorry I’ve missed you yesterday!)
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 8:09 am:
Hello, dear.
I hope your birthday was just delightful.
My 21st birthday was similarly low key.
My then-boyfriend, now-husband and I went out for some Italian dinner, then came home and ate pumpkin pie and drank a pumpkin beer with my housemates. ONE. :) (My birthday is in October, hence the pumpkin theme.)
I tried to pretend like I enjoyed partying for a while, but I can no longer lie – I enjoy relaxation far more.
Happy 21st, gorgeous!
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 9:13 am:
Happy Belated….and no you’re not boring. I completely understand the appeal of a quiet night at home.
P.S. Love your tattoo…I’ve been contemplating getting one too for a loooooong time…I think I will soon, we’ll see ;)
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 9:21 am:
Happy birthday. Enjoy your extreme youth :-)
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 10:17 am:
Hope you’re feeling now good, the tattoo is great. Enjoy your birthday and continue posting these beautiful outfits !
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 11:42 am:
Happy Birthday!!!
Love the tattoo.
on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 12:19 pm:
@ Everyone: Thank you so, so much for the lovely birthday wishes & compliments. I wish I could thank each & everyone of you, but a generic little note will have to do. :]
I also forgot to mention that in this ensemble, I was wearing shorts. This is not a super short dress; oh no… I would never be caught dead in it. I just forgot to mention the ripped shorts I was wearing, which is difficult to see in the picture.
thanks again, everyone. <3
on Saturday, September 20th, 2008 at 11:30 am:
Happy b-day girl!! Looking fierce in that dress, and the tattoo is incredibly unique, just like you!
on Monday, September 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 am:
okay.
i LOVE your tattoo.
ive been debating a new tattoo.
on my wrist in fact.
but i was thinking arabic writing.
now that ive seen your sanskrit,
im torn.
hmm.
on Saturday, October 4th, 2008 at 11:02 am:
Happy Belated Birthday!!! Yeah you’re 21. I love that tatoo, it is so beautiful.
on Sunday, November 30th, 2008 at 3:12 pm:
I love your tattoo, Can you please haed me in the right direction as to where you found the font.. I have been searching for this but the font doesn’t look as good as yours…
Thanks lovely.
xx
on Monday, December 8th, 2008 at 4:36 pm:
my tattoo is in sanskrit, too..such a beautiful language
http://cagedblackbird.blogspot.com/2008/06/what-i-did-on-my-weekend-vacation.html
on Friday, January 9th, 2009 at 10:34 am:
First, Happy belated Birthday! I have been skimming( =:)> only because im at work)your blog and I LOVE it. I havent turned 21 yet, i have a tattoo on my wrist also and was wondering how did you get the translation for this. I’ve been dying to want to get my sanskrit tattoo but can’t find a TRUE translator. Can you possibly tell me where or who helped with the translation of your tattoo?