Right now, I am at the library, using their internet. The last time I was here — which was sometime last week — I was placed at a rather unpleasant computer station, where the whole desk smelled like pee & the guy next to me was watching porn. Fortunately, today I am in a quiet corner, that smells only that of aging books & bookshelves. I have hardly any privacy here, but I have missed writing so much that I am beckoned to attempt a simple little message.
My head is all over the place at the moment, so my thoughts will more than likely sound muddled as I write them along. I’m having a hard time concentrating in the midst of the hushed voices, the zipping briefcases & the quiet slamming of books. It’s almost too quiet. & all the while, I have missed being in the presence of a library so much. I never realized how much novelty would be found in such an ancient place. & it truly is ancient. This building is huge, with 4 stories (give or take), & each room is filled from floor to ceiling with bulging bookshelves with all kinds of reading material. I would love to stay here & linger in each aisle, but I’ve got so much to do today. Organizing, mostly.
Which brings me to say that our apartment is beautiful. I can’t describe it any further than that, because I am overwhelmed at just how wonderful it really is. Little things we’ve never had before are now conveniently in our new little home. We have a doorbell (two, to be exact; one at the back door & one at the front), we have a garbage disposal & two sinks, we have a garage with storage, we have a heating unit, & tons of cabinet space. Not to mention the closets — yes, there are 2 (!!!) magnificently huge ones — which are just heavenly. Lover gave me my very own to have & clutter with my random array of clothes & accessories. It’s huge & fits all of my belongings perfectly. I never thought it would be possible to have such passionate feelings about a simple closet…
Everything about this new little place is so splendid. Last night, I found myself on the verge of tears simply because I am so grateful for these blessings. Truly, I couldn’t ask for a better place; a better life, really. I am far too modest to openly admit this — & writing it makes it a tad easier for me to express it, since I’m not actually saying it — but I have the perfect life. Just writing that statement out makes me want to backspace until it disappears, because I realize how… seemingly presumptuous & borderline pretentious it sounds. But, it’s true. My life, as of right now, in this stale library, is absolutely heaven. I have been blessed with so many amazing things in my little own little world: a lovely apartment, a beautiful & genuine relationship with my husband (who is rather gorgeous), a perfect little puppy, an understanding family & so on.
We haven’t much money, & we don’t live a very luxurious life, but it’s alright with me. It’s true that money cannot buy happiness; I realize this because I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life, & I am far from rich.
I guess what I’m trying to say, without trying to sound at all boastful, is that I am oozing with gratitude in this moment. I am terribly thankful.
Also, to my dearest readers: thank you so much for all the warm wishes & silent prayers. I am honored to have been in your thoughts & I am more than appreciative of your blessings. Before this week is over, I will [hopefully] have internet access again, & I can resume to whatever this little blog’s purpose is. But for now, the library is my sanctuary… & while its services are much appreciated, it’s a bit difficult to work in public, if you know what I mean.
Cheers to all of you, though; I hope you’re doing well.