09|02|2008
I have the dandelion’s smile today.
Right now, I am at the library, using their internet. The last time I was here — which was sometime last week — I was placed at a rather unpleasant computer station, where the whole desk smelled like pee & the guy next to me was watching porn. Fortunately, today I am in a quiet corner, that smells only that of aging books & bookshelves. I have hardly any privacy here, but I have missed writing so much that I am beckoned to attempt a simple little message.
My head is all over the place at the moment, so my thoughts will more than likely sound muddled as I write them along. I’m having a hard time concentrating in the midst of the hushed voices, the zipping briefcases & the quiet slamming of books. It’s almost too quiet. & all the while, I have missed being in the presence of a library so much. I never realized how much novelty would be found in such an ancient place. & it truly is ancient. This building is huge, with 4 stories (give or take), & each room is filled from floor to ceiling with bulging bookshelves with all kinds of reading material. I would love to stay here & linger in each aisle, but I’ve got so much to do today. Organizing, mostly.
Which brings me to say that our apartment is beautiful. I can’t describe it any further than that, because I am overwhelmed at just how wonderful it really is. Little things we’ve never had before are now conveniently in our new little home. We have a doorbell (two, to be exact; one at the back door & one at the front), we have a garbage disposal & two sinks, we have a garage with storage, we have a heating unit, & tons of cabinet space. Not to mention the closets — yes, there are 2 (!!!) magnificently huge ones — which are just heavenly. Lover gave me my very own to have & clutter with my random array of clothes & accessories. It’s huge & fits all of my belongings perfectly. I never thought it would be possible to have such passionate feelings about a simple closet…
Everything about this new little place is so splendid. Last night, I found myself on the verge of tears simply because I am so grateful for these blessings. Truly, I couldn’t ask for a better place; a better life, really. I am far too modest to openly admit this — & writing it makes it a tad easier for me to express it, since I’m not actually saying it — but I have the perfect life. Just writing that statement out makes me want to backspace until it disappears, because I realize how… seemingly presumptuous & borderline pretentious it sounds. But, it’s true. My life, as of right now, in this stale library, is absolutely heaven. I have been blessed with so many amazing things in my little own little world: a lovely apartment, a beautiful & genuine relationship with my husband (who is rather gorgeous), a perfect little puppy, an understanding family & so on.
We haven’t much money, & we don’t live a very luxurious life, but it’s alright with me. It’s true that money cannot buy happiness; I realize this because I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life, & I am far from rich.
I guess what I’m trying to say, without trying to sound at all boastful, is that I am oozing with gratitude in this moment. I am terribly thankful.
Also, to my dearest readers: thank you so much for all the warm wishes & silent prayers. I am honored to have been in your thoughts & I am more than appreciative of your blessings. Before this week is over, I will [hopefully] have internet access again, & I can resume to whatever this little blog’s purpose is. But for now, the library is my sanctuary… & while its services are much appreciated, it’s a bit difficult to work in public, if you know what I mean.
Cheers to all of you, though; I hope you’re doing well.
on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 pm:
Glad to know you’re alive ;) and even better to know you’re loving your new place, as well as loving your life.
PS. What’s the library place you speak of? Seems like a foreign concept to me.
on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm:
This was so refreshing to read. It’s so wonderful that you’re able to see your life for what it truly is: blessed.
And I’m so happy to hear that your new place is so perfect for you! I was the same way when we moved from our dinky little apartment to our duplex earlier in the year. I’d never been so excited to see a dishwasher, more parking space, a big garage, new appliances and a paint color other than white on the walls.
I’ve found that every stage of life I’ve had to go through has only made me more appreciative of when I have something that I really want! And it really makes it all worth it.
I hope you keep your dandelion’s smile going strong. :)
on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 7:05 pm:
It’s a breath of fresh air to hear someone sounding so content. I try to take a moment every now and then and focus on what I am grateful for instant of lamenting what I would like to change–there really is a lot of good in my life too.
I’m also rediscovering my love for libraries, or at least book. Three books in as many days=I love vacation.
on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 7:30 pm:
Darling, loving your blog update. Glad to hear that the new place is beautiful. Hope all is well with you–hopefully you’ll be back online soon enough. You’ll have to give me the address of your new home so I can send you another letter. <3
Hope to hear from you soon.
p.s–the library is one of my favorite places in the whole wide world. I find it the easiest place to gather my thoughts and write.
on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 7:49 pm:
Oh, I don’t think your saying your life is perfect is pretentious at all. I just wish we all could learn to be happy with what we have knowing that the things we don’t have, we don’t need–at least not right now.
I’m happy everything has turned out well for you!
on Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 at 7:40 am:
I’m happy you’re happy :)
I know it’s been a rough and busy road, but it’s nice to see you’ve finally settled in.
on Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 am:
congratulations on the place!! i can feel your appreciation and gratitude and your enthusiasm is infectious…
on Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 am:
I’m so happy for you – what a trip it’s been in such a short time for you two!
Glad to hear you’re doing so well and have time to rest up, as well as a lovely space to rest up in.
on Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 am:
That’s great! I’m so glad things are working out for you!
You should never apologise for feeling/thinking/saying/writing that you have the perfect life! That feeling is so precious and rare that it must be celebrated!!!
Hurray!!! :-)
on Thursday, September 4th, 2008 at 9:36 am:
Love the top!
on Thursday, September 4th, 2008 at 10:39 am:
Wow! Beautifully said! I’m so happy for you!
The last few months have been rough as I have had no stable place to live; wandering aimlessly, unsure how to get out of that negative patch I now find myself in. I feel very much like a nomad, desperately seeking solace in a very chaotic world, but after reading your post, I have renewed hope that, I too will find a charming oasis of warmth and tranquility that I can call home. Things always have a mysterious way of working themselves out, and you finding a beautiful place, and being in a place of pure bliss is a testament to that. Thank you for sharing ;-)
on Thursday, September 4th, 2008 at 11:34 am:
That’s wonderful.
I’m not sure if I’ve every been truly happy or if true happiness really exists…but I have been truly content and that’s just dandy :)
on Thursday, September 4th, 2008 at 5:26 pm:
Just out of interest, where do you work?
I’m going to the library tomorrow and I am looking forward to it even more now that I have read your post ^__^
on Friday, September 5th, 2008 at 9:32 am:
<3 <3 <3 :)
(That is all.)
on Friday, September 5th, 2008 at 11:54 am:
@ Aaron: Oh you know, the library is that place where you rent books. Sort of how you rent movies from Blockbuster. ;] You should try it out sometime. It’s absolutely enlightening.
@ wishcake: that is precisely how I feel. I didn’t think I would get used to my apartment so quickly. I thought I would be brooding over my old studio for weeks. But it’s amazing what change does to someone. :] Thanks for the kind words.
@ The Clothes Horse: Oh yes, I enjoy a good book as much as a new pair of stockings. :]
@ Shannon: Hi love! Ill be sending you a letter tomorrow, since I missed the mail today. :]
@ Torie Michelle: I think that’s one of the hardest things for us all to accomplish. Up until recently, I didn’t quite know how to do it myself. Thanks for the kind words. =]
@ Sandy: thank you so much. :]
@ thealchemist: I’m glad to know I am infectious… in a good way.
@ Kyla Bea: Oh, you’re telling me. I’m still overwhelmed with how quick things transpired. I’m glad to have some breathing room now. :] Thanks.
@ Confused: you are absolutely right. Thank you. :]
@ ambika: I’m assuming you meant this for the other entry; thank you. :}
@ Katia: thank you! I am so glad that I could be of some inspiration. I know that you’ll find a place. There were a few times that I thought we were doomed, but everything turned out fairly alright for us. :] Good luck with everything.
@ Jade: yes, it is just dandy. :]
@ Floss: I work at home. I am an amateur writer slash “secretary” for my husband’s personal development blog. :] I hope you found some lovely reads at the library.
Traci Anne: =] =] =] <— that is all. heehee.
on Wednesday, September 10th, 2008 at 11:39 am:
I am so happy for you. Reading this made me smile. Its nice to hear that you’ve settled in and are happy. I knew your new place would be better than before, and the anxiety you felt before is probably so far gone its hard to believe it was there in the first place. Congrats!! :)
on Saturday, December 6th, 2008 at 2:55 pm:
yay!