08|22|2008
I’m just being honest…
I do not like Nylon Magazine; I detest it more & more with each pretentious issue. I don’t mean to be vile — or maybe I do — but I feel the need to express my pent up feelings about this, primarily because I keep getting the wretched magazine in my mailbox.
Of course, that is my own fault; my sister offered me a free subscription & I accepted it because, well… it’s FREE, of course! & I really wanted to try to give it a chance; I really wanted to like it. But I’m sorry, Nylon, you bore me to tears. & the library will eventually get your barely read pages; just as soon as I can get a bag big enough to fit all of the stinky issues I’ve set aside.
Nothing about this magazine interests me. I mean, really… how much can one talk about overpriced garments & overrated fashion statements, without it sounding redundant & grandiose?
I am probably a square, because I happen to know a lot of people who favor this magazine. But I, personally, can’t even seem to try to like it. Especially this latest issue, which seems to go on & on incessantly about senseless television shows, & pretentious up & coming actresses. I don’t care; although, I probably should, being that the whole wide world seems to be raving about this new 90210 series that is coming on television… but I really couldn’t care less. I find it all so irrelevant & shallow. I’ve never been one to get fully involved in the hype of fads, whatever they may be.
& while I am glad to be getting this out of my system — & it has been boiling within me for ions, it seems — I’m sure it’s not very healthy to have such strong abhorring feelings about a magazine that really has nothing to do with me.
Unfortunately, the front cover is usually attractive (damn you, you excellently gifted graphic designers!) & I start to become curious as to whether or not this will be the issue that sparks my interest. I am always brutally disappointed to find that no… it’s still terrible, & l have the rest of the year with this bloody magazine.
Cosmopolitan is also on my “loathe” list. Regretfully, I once had a subscription to this cheesy magazine. I thought that by subscribing, I would be considered more “grown up.” But it’s awful; absolutely terrible.
& I would love to have a few choice words with the fool who thought of the term “Va-jay-jay.” Yes, that dreadfully overused word. We all know what is being implied by this term of expression, so why not just say it? Since when is vagina a bad word? Why are women insisting upon downgrading their “lovely lady parts” (as said by Cosmopolitan) by calling it something so completely ridiculous? Certainly, men don’t call their manhood “Pe-ni-ni” so why do we let this stupid nickname stick? It’s just silly. Never will you hear “va-jay-jay” escape my lips.
& if I see one more magazine featuring Lauren Conrad, or any other mediocre “celebrity” as the cover girl, I am going to go postal. Seriously. I am going to storm into a Barnes & Noble, buy all of the issues featuring prim & popular “celebrities” & burn them to help aid our compost pile.
Ash is good for soil, you know.
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 8:49 am:
Ash is good for soil…
LOL I find that Nylon is really obvious a lot of the time – and don’t get me started about Cosmo. Just horrific.
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 8:58 am:
All cosmo can write about are the different ways to make your man happy in bed. And what we’re doing wrong that causes them to cheat. I hate it too.
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 am:
I am SO with you on this entire thing. Just looking at the articles they have on the cover of the issues you pointed out make me so incredibly crotchety. This is what our world is coming to.
(For the record, I can’t wait for the new 90210 to be a huge flop. I will feel completely vindicated.)
I, myself, remember stealing my older sister’s Cosmo magazines when I was a young teenager. Again, like you said, because it made me feel somehow more adult or sophisticated. But all I was left with after reading it were feelings of insecurity about my body (even though I was incredibly thin back then) and wondering WHY the HECK someone would want to put their tongue THERE (seriously graphic articles for a thirteen year old). Heehee.
I have a subscription to Glamour right now, and although it’s a wee bit better than Cosmo, I still finding myself wishing instead for a magazine like Real Simple to arrive instead of Glamour every month. I’m not sure what type of woman that makes me, but I certainly don’t care!
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 9:23 am:
Is this stuff really worth getting so upset over? I think you have anger issues. Get over it. They are just magazines.
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 9:32 am:
I love the eye candy in the fashion shoots, but Cosmo has been getting on even my nerves the past few months. The articles are recycled, and I definitely did not appreciate a certain article on “gray” rape.
I think Vajayjay came to be because on Gray’s Anatomy, the network would not let Dr. Bailey say “Vagina” so the actress said “vajayjay.” Then Oprah caught on to tell the world how “empowering” vajayjay is. I love Oprah, but I think she did a disservice.
Do you read http://jezebel.com? Thdey had a fantastic discussion on “vajayjay” when it first went around, and they have wonderful criticism of popular culture,
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 12:01 pm:
@ Kyla Bea: Amen, sister. It’s all dreadful. ;/
@ ashley: I know! What is with that? We can sex them (our men, I mean) good, but we have to sex them a certain way… because if we don’t, they’ll cheat on us. (??) I think it’s a bunch of rubbish.
@ wishcake: Yes, I am hopeful that it’ll be a complete flop, but the chances of that happening is going to be slim; especially since there is so much advertising done on it. Sigh. & I’ve gotten Glamour before too, but I still didn’t like it as much. But you are right; it’s certainly better than Cosmo. ;/
@ Jenna: You asked if this stuff is really worth getting upset over, & I will answer a big YES.
THIS is what our world is coming to; silly television series teaching our youth how to be high class sluts; magazines that capitalize off of scandalous & delinquent celebrities; articles that glorify the spending of thousands of dollars on materialistic items, when there are more important things going on in the world, that people need to be paying attention to.
So yes, I am upset… because it’s fucking ludicrous. They are NOT “just magazines;” they are (unfortunately) learning utensils for everyone in the world, teaching us all some really bad habits, bad manners & new addictions.
[some, not all] magazines are superficial manuals, influencing us to buy, buy, buy & take, take, take, & change, change, change. We are never thin enough, pretty enough, good enough, sexy enough & these magazines make it okay for us women to seek THEIR knowledge, rather than from within ourselves.
No… I do not have anger issues. I just give a shit. If you were smart, my dear, you would open up your eyes & care a little, too. I respect your opinion, but I ask that you respect mine & actually listen to what I’m saying, rather than condemn me as someone with anger issues.
@ Holly: You know, I never knew the actual history of the word “va-jay-jay;” thank you for enlightening me. :] I still think, though, that it’s a ridiculous word & that Oprah definitely made it more than what it really was. I cannot stand her because of that.
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm:
Haha, I think what I love best about this entire thing is what you responded to Jenna with- that it IS worth getting upset over.
Because, oh man, I AGREE! My biggest pet peeve right now is The Hills, and those who watch it and perpetuate the idea that these idiots deserve a show and the attention that it gets them. They do nothing of importance! They have high school drama! I can’t handle it.
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 5:22 pm:
I think the work VAGINA is beautiful.
More people should read “The Vagina Monologues” by Eve Ensler or see it performed. It’s powerful.
Always be vagina friendly.
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 5:28 pm:
I gotta say, I really agree with you on these issues.When I was younger, I use to read cosmo, and the only thing it taught me was- my body was too fat. What scares me now is that young girls read these things and they are going to be confused. I do not mind saying Va jay-jay though…prob cause it was funny as hell when Baily said it…lol.
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 5:45 pm:
Ugh! I loathe Cosmo too! I thought I liked Nylon but lately it is really boring me…
on Friday, August 22nd, 2008 at 6:47 pm:
I’ve never even looked at Nylon. Cosmo is only good for when you have the flu and don’t know what you’re looking at. It was very ground-breaking back in the day. It was really a key part of the Sexual Revolution.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Gurley_Brown
But it’s outlived its usefulness, for sure.
on Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 at 10:58 am:
Cosmos is too obsessed with things and sex, IMO.
I mean, nowadays, I can handle it, but younger me was probably scandalized by it all. :-P
on Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 at 2:43 pm:
I’ve never read Nylon but all the mags are basically the same these days. I find Cosmo absolutely ridiculous. I cannot imagine real people seriously trying the “sex tips” in that rag. Those are the sort of things that are attempted in cheap-thrill comedy films for easy laughs.
Bleh. Magazines (as reading material) are dying and it makes me sad. All I can do with them now is make collages.
Sidenote: I just don’t get how Lauren Conrad became a “celebrity.” But if it was that easy for her, hey, I’m available for stardom right now, too…lol :-)
on Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 at 6:00 pm:
Oh wow, I dislike Nylon with the intensity of one thousand suns. I’ve only ever been able to make it through a handful of issues, and every time I’m greatly disappointed.
It wouldn’t be so bad if this magazine wasn’t hailed as groundbreaking and subversive. Every issue is so bland and boring, they talk about the exact same things every other magazine does, just with a different color scheme. I am so glad that other people share my distaste for this rag.
on Sunday, August 24th, 2008 at 9:04 pm:
Glamour is the best. Seriously.
on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 8:45 am:
Bravo — my sincere hope is that a young woman reads this and follows your lead.
Using terms like “va-jay-jay” dumbs people down and causes them to live on auto-pilot. When you live like a zombie you make really dumb decisions that effect your life.
Bless you for speaking your mind, I agree with your sentiments exactly.
on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 9:00 am:
omg, i agree!! glamour isn’t one of my tops, but i still love it! i’m a fan of elle, teenvogue, & W! =)
please check out myblog, http://la-couturier.blogspot.com
on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 9:54 am:
Love Glamour and Self, but otherwise, I’ve pretty much stopped buying magazines (other than my British tabloids – such a guilty pleasure!). They all have the same topics every month, just recycled!
on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 9:55 am:
Er, I meant, they recycle the exact same topics every month, just tweaked a liiiiittle bit!
on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 10:15 am:
@ sandy: I never knew how passionate I was about an issue like this until that comment she made. & I have to agree with you about the Hills. I just don’t understand…
@ Jade: Amen. :]
@ Simple Mindz: it’s a shame that magazines do that to women. For me, it was realizing that black girls weren’t really as… popular as white girls. Which made me feel very much like I was ugly & out of place. I know how you feel, completely.
@ The Clothes Horse: glad I am not the only one. It seems like every fashion conscious person is in love with that magazine.
@ WendyB: You are very right! I’m sure it was groundbreaking back then, but now… it’s a bit useless. There are so many other sources for women to get their sexual advice from. It’s obvious that it’s not longer taboo… so yes, it isn’t as important these days.
@ ashley.marie: Oh, I know I was scandalized by it. My parents NEVER talked about sex, so Cosmo was my main source. :]
@ Torie Michelle: I think the same thing, too. About if LC could get famous just looking good on the camera, I could too. But it still doesn’t seem appealing to me.
@ Murial Mercurial: I loved your description about how much you hate Nylon. With the intensity of a thousands suns; I love it. :]
@ Gooseberried: To each his own, really. I don’t know what I like these days anymore. They all have the same mumbo jumbo in it.
@ Always in Style: I’m glad I’m not the only one (& I think I’ve said that several times). =]
@ lacourtuier: I enjoy teenvogue, also. But I always feel silly reading it because I am well beyond “teen.”
@ Traci Anne: I know what you mean, girl. ;]
on Monday, August 25th, 2008 at 6:09 pm:
I’ve never picked up Nylon honestly… but I LOATHE Cosmo. I wrote about it on my blog a while back (too lazy to go find the post lawl) someone got me a sub for my bday one year… and HOW many times can we talk about male erogenous zones in different contexts?? Just fyi… MY man does not like his nipples poked and prodded!! XD The only magazine I actively am subscribed to is Shape… it’s a woman’s magazine about health and beauty. Love it. Other than that, I rarely read magazines (except Michael’s Game Informer because he leaves it in the bathroom!!)
on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at 12:14 am:
oh my dear… you preach it! honestly, i truly believe that cosmo is written by men. absolutely clueless, straight, ridiculously stupid men. i swear to you that they use female pseudo-names in order for the magazine to be directed to women.
vajayjay! bleh.
lucky is a great magazine. purely about fashion. purely my interest.
i adore you!
on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at 10:13 am:
Amen on Cosmo. I got tired of reading it when every issue involved 459 SEXY! things to do to a man that involved either a donut or a hair scrunchie.
I’d much rather read Glamour. Or, if I’m really laying it all on the line- Real Simple. I’d take an excellent recipe over SEXY! advice anyday.
on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at 1:31 pm:
Ack, I HATE Cosmo. Talk about causing girls to obsess over boys and looks. And, really, what new facts could they possibly have about our “lovely lady parts”?
on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at 6:42 pm:
Nylon was my favorite magazine a couple of years ago, but to say that they’ve undergone some changes since then would be an understatement. They’ve become more and more wrapped up in the NY/LA scene, and less interested in bringing new and subversive art to readers.
I still flip through it but I never sit down and read every page the way I do with Bust or Preen.
on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at 8:01 pm:
HAHAHAHA, I love how you seem so tricked by Nylon. I agree, they have catchy pics but not much else going on. I’m not that into to fad shows like Gossip Girls, the Hills and the soon coming 90210 either. I’m more of a Dexter, the Closer, and Medium kind of gal. I’ve never really been into those High School shows because they just don’t seem realistic. I agree with your points about magazines, although I am guilty of reading Vogue, W, and Elle regularly.
Thank you so much for your kinds comments and great response Jenna.
On another note, how’s moving coming along, have you guys gotten settled in the new place yet??
on Wednesday, August 27th, 2008 at 10:34 am:
@ abby: I think it’s funny that you read your husband’s gaming magazines. :]
@ diana: It would be hysterical if Cosmo were written by men. It would make sense, too. I wonder… :]
@ brandy: I’d take a recipe over sex advice any day, too.
@ Meg: I know, right. ;/
@ Cammila: You sound a lot like me. I LOVED them years ago, but now it’s just different. I wonder what happened?
@ Kelly: There is nothing wrong with Vogue or Elle. :] I like those magazines. They’re just a bit impractical to me. It’s not like I could ever afford the stuff they talk about. But it’s always nice to find something that is LIKE the splurge.
& no, we haven’t gotten settled into our apartment yet. We move in this weekend. Ugh. ;/ It can’t come soon enough. Thank you for asking. =]
on Monday, September 1st, 2008 at 10:42 am:
I agree with you, Cosmo sucks and is a waste. Never heard of Nylon. I believe Oprah started the term of Va-jay-jay. I love Oprah, but that term is used over and over way too much just like an old Mariah Carey song on the radio.
on Sunday, September 7th, 2008 at 6:48 am:
Hahaha, I couldn’t agree with you more. I can’t remember the last time I even picked up a Cosmo. Nothing ever changes in that magazine so I got plain fed up with it.
And about NYLON, don’t get me started.
on Monday, September 8th, 2008 at 12:20 pm:
Seriously, Cosmopolitan is the WORST magazine for women I’ve ever seen (I’ve never seen Nylon before).
I particularly despise it for it’s lack of intelligence when it comes to giving advice on relationships and men.
It’s *cute*, but if I’ve seen all too many women USE that material and then still ask questions like “Why doesn’t he love me?”
“Why does he always get so numb with me?”
“What the hell does he think about… What’s he hiding from me??”
And the guys never tell them WHY any of this goes on.
Yeah, if only they knew how to get the truth with a material that doesn’t bullshit them into being scared sheep.
Awesome post.
on Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 at 10:18 am:
I. Loved. This. Post.
on Wednesday, October 7th, 2009 at 11:16 am:
Don’t get your panties in a bunch :) If you don’t like it, don’t read it. It’s really that easy. Have a good day.