Friday, August 8th, 2008
the ugly, the bad & the good.
[I hate receiving bad news. If I must receive bad news, I'd rather receive it first, so that the good news is the last thing lingering in my mind, rather than the bad. I have a terrible habit of over analyzing things to oblivion, so this kind of backwards thinking helps tremendously. Thus, I say: The Ugly, The Bad, & the Good. I am also finding that humor is the best way to cope with misfortunes. Or, rather, I am trying to laugh in spite of myself.]
My life has been an unexpected, emotional roller coaster ride over the last several days. So to say that I am a bit of a wreck would be an understatement. Yes, I manage to keep my composure to show that I know everything is under control — dare I recite that stupid saying, “Everything is okay in the end; if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end”? — but inside, a psychological war is brewing & I cannot pick a side.
I am not a patient person. If I need answers, I need them now (dammit!) with not one second to spare. If a decision rests on someone’s approval, they need to hurry [the fuck] up. If I am driving on a highway where the speed limit is 45mph & the car in front of me is going 35mph, they need to speed up or get out of the way. Even if I’m not running late, even if I don’t have somewhere important to go, I prefer to move at my own pace, uninterrupted.
Now, none of this really bothers me usually, because I am typically in charge of my own decisions. But when things happen (ugly things, bad things), I am forced to be the dreaded Patient Person. I loathe that. Patience is a virtue, yes, but I don’t think I possess that kind of goodness. If I did, I wouldn’t be blabbering on about this now.
My predicaments are, as follows:
THE UGLY:
– This whole foreclosure, “you must vacate in 30 days” (via text message) nonsense is Ugly. & right as I was beginning to lose hope, a miraculous opportunity arose for Lover & I: a beautiful apartment, fully equipped, would be ready to move into right around the time we needed to “vacate.” Oh joy, of joys! The nitty-gritty details are a bit irrelevant now, but we were thrilled! All that needed to be done was the signing of an application & the checking of our credit & the apartment would be ours. Right as Lover was about to fax the application back to the property manager, he messaged me saying, “Babe… I’ve got bad news.” I immediately thought, Oh dear…
He went on to say that our future ex landlady went against her word for no good reason, & is now giving the apartment to someone else. Again, there is a lot more to this story, but it doesn’t really matter since the story ends on such a bad note. We tried everything to change the landlady’s mind. I even called her, begging her, bribing her… to no avail. Imagine, getting our hopes all up, telling us that the beautiful apartment is ours & then she sporadically changes her mind. To hell with her! Or rather, since that isn’t a very ladylike thing to say: Off with her head! Bitch.
THE BAD:
– The Bad ties in with The Ugly. I am outraged at the bipolar tendencies of our future ex landlady, but I am even more upset at the prospect of us now having to go back to the drawing board, so to speak, & start this wretched apartment hunt all over again. Now, I know that it can’t possibly be as bad as I’m making it seem, but at that notion, I begin to think all over again that we wouldn’t even be here in the first place, had that abominable woman just stuck to her word! I can’t let it go, & I won’t until we find an apartment that is as ravishing as the one we had our hearts set on. & if/when that happens, I will certainly exclaim, “In your face, you vile, stinking woman. In your face.”
– My foul mood is Bad. It’s more than Bad; it’s rotten. & I have Mother Nature — Father Nature, God in Heaven, Zeus, Neptune or whomever thought is was a good idea to bestow premenstrual stress on a woman — is to blame & shall be held fully responsible. Yes, Bloody Monday is upon us.
– On top of everything, our computer unexpectedly crashed, leaving it completely disabled for all of Monday. Thankfully, nothing was lost. But what a pain it was; not just for me, but for Lover, who wrestled with it all night until it was back to normal. It was then I realized that we rely on technology far too much.
THE GOOD:
Now… I’m asking myself, Could there be any good left after all of the uckiness that was mentioned before? I don’t know, really. Right now, I am not feeling optimistic; just grumpy, emotionally weary & a bit pessimistic. I know the bright side is around here somewhere, but I’m too melancholy to look for it.
The only seemingly “good” thing I could come up with is a measly little outfit I wore the other day. Otherwise, I can’t think of anything else. I am really down in the dumps. & even this outfit was done out of spite. I dressed up, then took it all off & proceeded to go into my funk all over again.
shirt, from the Gap; skirt, from H&M (as seen here); shoes are vintage.
That is the fakest smile I could muster.
on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 10:07 am:
We went through this earlier this year… hang in there :)
on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 11:00 am:
Oh honey. Lots and lots of prayers going out to y’all!
on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 11:02 am:
Awww, cheer up. I really don’t like seeing anyone upset. Yes, I know the horrid future/ex landlady horribly gave your apartment away, but I’m sure you will find something amazing just like before. Just know that you feel grumpy now but soon you’ll find a place, get settled and be back to your old self again.
I hope everything works out.
P.S. To be so grumpy you look fabulous in that picture. I guess you wear grump well. :)
on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 11:53 am:
Oh no! What a bitch indeed! I agree: off with her head and straight to hell!
And computers and technology in general are always trying to get us when we’re least expecting it! Stupid machines!
Good luck with the renewed appartment hunt, I hope you find an even better flat!
*hugs*
on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 12:25 pm:
i am SO sorry. apartment hunting is HORRIBLE, as in long, slow, painful death.
we were very very lucky we finally found this place after looking for two months. so again. so so sorry :(
remember, karma is a bitch and she is on your side today.
on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 12:47 pm:
Oh, dear. Hang in there.. things will hopefully be looking up soon.
I’m sure you’ll find an apartment even better than the last one that that bitch promised you.
on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 1:55 pm:
@ Amanda: Sigh; I’ll try…
@ Traci Anne: thank you, love. I appreciate it. :]
@ Kelly: Haha. “I wear grump well.” I know a lot of people who would beg to differ about that. ;] Thank you though, for the encouraging words.
@ Confused: You said it; computers are so unpredictable. & thank you for the hugs. =]
@ Cri: Yes, it’s going to be slightly excruciating. But I think we’ll be okay; I just need to learn patience, for heaven’s sake. & hopefully Karma will find a way to teach that hag a lesson. ;/
@ sandy: I sure hope so! We’ve looked at some potentials… hopefully we’ll find one soon. :] Thanks for the nice words.
on Saturday, August 9th, 2008 at 9:42 am:
Best of luck to you. I hate that when I get my hopes up about something and it doesn’t work out. I’m in the process of getting ready to move myself, though still not quite sure where I’m going. We’ve given ourselves a month’s time line, may not meet it but right now that’s best case scenario. Thank you for this post. I need reminding of not only the importance of keeping your word (and how that affects other people) but also doing something, anything to try and be happy in the moment. I look forward to future posts from you about your gorgeous wonderful new place, even better then the one that was pulled out from under you. =)
on Saturday, August 9th, 2008 at 10:30 am:
I’m so sorry that you’re going through bad times and hardship — I totally relate to the feeling of immediacy, just wanting things resolved. You clearly have a good attitude though, and you know it will pass. I’m thinking good thoughts for you.
on Sunday, August 10th, 2008 at 11:29 am:
a) I’m wishing you the best in this whole apartment-hunting charade! I really am. Because I’ve been there and know just how frustrating it can be. I’m sure something is bound to come up soon!
b) Adorable outfit, as always. :)
on Sunday, August 10th, 2008 at 6:02 pm:
Gosh I’m so sorry about the Bad and Ugly but at least you found something positive in this! You’ll find another apartment without a psycho landlady. Let’s go egg that woman’s house.
on Sunday, August 10th, 2008 at 8:28 pm:
So sorry about the news! I like your simple outfit.
on Monday, August 11th, 2008 at 10:26 am:
Internet stranger that I am, you are in my thoughts.
on Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 at 5:00 am:
Damn. Good luck with everything. :]
on Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 at 9:43 am:
Another good: You guys have each other during moments like these
on Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 at 12:20 pm:
@ Katie: thanks so much for the wonderful, uplifting comments. :] I appreciate them. I hope things work out. Right now it’s looking a little bleak…
@ Cammila: thank you. :]
@ wishcake: thank you, deary!
@ Jessica: my sentiments exactly! Although… mine was a little more violent. I wanted to replace the eggs with bricks. ;/
@ Austere: Thank you. I like them too. ;]
@ Holly: thank you, I appreciate knowing that.
@ Annie Spandex: thanks. ;]
@ Aaron: You are absolutely right, but remembering that in this time of calamity is a bit rough. I think I’m just a bah-humbug. ;/
on Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 at 3:09 pm:
Very sorry to hear of your predicament. It will get better. It has too! There is never a positive without a negative.