Friday, June 27th, 2008
take time, value quality & shop like a french girl.
Last night, I picked up my darling little French book again. I find that I’m having to put a hold on my reading after a few pages, simply to contemplate & let it all soak in. This book is just far too important to whiz through, filled with so many goodies & tips that need to be reflected on.
The first section I began to read was about the importance of taking time for even the little things & to try not to multi-task; a habit of mine that has gotten almost out of control. I’m the one who will be sweeping in my underwear, while the showering is warming up, while listening to music & talking on the phone, while the oven is cooking potatoes & the air conditioner is blasting (this is more than true). & when I begin to feel very frazzled & stressed, I stupidly think, “Ugh! Why do I feel so frazzled & stressed?!” Some multitasking can be beneficial for me, but most of the time it’s terribly burdening, not to mention confusing. I burn more dinners & waste more water this way.
The French Girl, however, abhors time & the idea of keeping track of it:
Her notion of time is that of a flâneur — a stroller, one who does not go places with a particular objective or precise schedule, but allows the ambling course of general intentions to guide her into unplanned encounters & special unexpected pleasures. In [the French girl's] world, time is not money. Time is life. … Real life is deep & complex & slowly developed, & it has its roots in fundamental things. And you cannot experience those fundamental things, or true pleasure in life, without taking your time.
The French girl understands that time is immutable & that she, on the other hand, is not. By taking time for herself she’s free to give it back to others.
This is not to say that the French girl has the patience of a monk. She does not. She sometimes drives like a bat out of hell, would park in your kitchen if she could find a space, but when it comes to the essential things in life she does not rush. She does not force today what can get done tomorrow. Time is relative: life is short, memories are long. To all things a season, quite literally.
How positively insightful! I’d like to develop the skills of absentmindedly forgetting about time & just let things flow as they may. Lover always complains that when we go out, I have to have a plan, because I hate wandering around aimlessly. Reading this little section made me think of that & want to fix it so that I can not be so wrapped up with plans, organization & doing it all in one sitting.
& with that, it wraps up with this:
Borrow a Page from the French Girl’s Book: Time
Don’t take short-cuts. Don’t multi-task. Do one thing at a time, completely, in the moment. Remember that time is not money, it’s your life. Let go of the desire to fit everything into one day. Take time for yourself. Invest your time in what is personally relevant & meaningful, because time, in the eternal scheme of things, passes swiftly. (Remember how fast your grew up, how fast your children grow up?) Keep each thing in its place. Work at the office, play at home. Toss the digital watch; go analog.
The next chapter speaks in depth about how the French girl values quality & authenticity. The French girl embodies the principle of quality over quantity, almost effortlessly, like she was born with this kind of thinking. She is conscious of every dress in her closet, every trinket in her lovely home (”things with meaning, things that evoke memories”) & in everything that inhabits her French girl world. Everything in her life has a certain particularity about them, making them precious gems, almost as if they have a soul.
Less is truly more [for the French girl], as long as it’s an expression of quality & authenticity. She resists the expendable, the disposable, the trendy, the faux. She prefers the singular wild flower to the pre-made bouquet. The small car to the big machine. She invariably buys one perfect high-quality dress & not several last satisfying, on-sale ones. And she instinctively knows how to mix & match with natural creativity.
The French girl’s preference for quality over quantity ties directly into her ability to say No: No to excess in people, things or ideas; No to what doesn’t grace her world. Quality over quantity is not just about material things. Who inhabits her world, who feeds her mind, who’s allowed into her private garden? The French Girl would rather spend time alone than with people who simply fill a void.
All of this is something I hope to keep cultivating & unforgettable, for it’s all very true: quality in life is so much more important than more & bigger things. Not just speaking about purses or cars, but people & the relationships you have with them. Because of this, I am proud of my husband being my only best friend & my mother being influencer. I’d rather have those two lovely people than 100 mediocre companions, most definitely.
The next segment I read (which ties into the quality over quantity section) was titled “How to Shop Like a French Girl.” I instantly thought, Oh, do tell! Please tell! Though shortly elaborated, it was the most fun to read because I saw similarities in myself while reflecting on its pages. Not to mention, it’s terribly interesting.
If she [the French girl] can’t afford it, she won’t buy it. If it doesn’t fit (or make her feel good, or flaunt what she’s got), she won’t wear it. If she can’t find it, she won’t compromise. If she loves it, she won’t toss it. She reuses it, rethinks it, lets it age.
When the French girl shops, it isn’t a solitary act of buying something new. It’s a part of a lifelong process of editing her environment, making small but meaningful additions or adjustments to her home, her closet, her life.
When you shop like a French girl, you buy only one of anything — & make sure it’s the best quality you can afford. You know what you want & where to find it (& if you don’t, you’ll learn). You update with accents that are both unique & timeless. You invest in authentic things of quality that will endure & you focus on what’s essential. And when you do find those essential things that work for you, you jump. [If something attracts you in a window, you buy it right then, otherwise you may regret not getting it for the rest of your life.]
While you’re sensitive to the winds of change, you’re not prey to the whims & persuasions of every fad & ad. What’s in or out is less important than what’s YOU: your passions, your personal style.
While reading this, I found myself a bit astonished, because we all know that Paris is one of the biggest fashion capitals of the world. I wondered, You mean… a French girl is surrounded by exquisite trends & breathtaking fashions & she does not succumb to them? She remains true to herself, to her style? She doesn’t have 5 closets full of the must-haves of the seasons, from each collection of different designers? She is… simple??
Of course, this isn’t to say that she doesn’t have a $4,000 purse in her closet; she may even have two! But I think I’ve always had this idea of a French girl being the epitome of stylish, simply because she buys & buys only the luxurious things. But that’s not all together true. & I am thankful to know that, because I was under the impression that I am abnormal because I don’t like to buy very expensive shoes & purses. It truly is more important to acquire, afford, splurge, even collect, things that personally fit my style than what the highest of fashion magazines portray.
I am so grateful to this darling little book. Because it’s more than about being French; it’s about reevaluating your morals & improving your standards. How I wish I were a French girl. I wonder how different I would be if I were born French…
on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 9:47 am:
I take every (the little that I have) opportunity to float thru time… I love doing that. And I’m down for the analog watches… haven’t own a digital since primary school. But I’m gonna get one soon tho… a calculator watch from the 80’s!!!
on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 10:34 am:
I really like the quotes in this book-it sounds a wonderful read!!
on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 10:56 am:
that sounds like a great book! and i completely agree with most of it. the part where it says that you should rather be alone then spending time with people you don’t really like is a thing i had to learn. now that i do it (most of the time), i feel much better.
on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 1:51 pm:
I HAVE to buy this book, it’s great. Thank you for sharing it with us! I agree with the fashion paragraph completely- I never see very “trendy” women in Paris, but they always look their best. I think they learn at an early age to buy the best for their looks, and stick to it, updating with the most expensive things they can afford. I am trying to kick my Topshop habit and do likewise, but it’s hard!
PS I hope it’s ok if I add you to my blogroll? x M
on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 2:13 pm:
Huh. I’m thinking I’m going to have to purchase this!
on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 2:36 pm:
What an interesting book, i MUST check it out for myself. I’ve added you by the way! :]
on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 4:59 pm:
@ Aaron: Unlike most people, I hate watches. I hate having time on my wrist, reminding me of its passing. I have a cell phone, which is just as well. :]
@ Sharon Rose: It is, indeed, a wonderful read! I highly suggest this book.
@ Anna: ME TOO. It took me a while to grasp this (I hate being lonely) but after some, I learned to just let those dead relationships go. I’m so very glad I did. =]
@ Marianne: I loved your comment, because it just confirmed this book so much more! Because while I’m reading, I’m always wondering… “Is this really how it is?” So that’s very cool! I envy you for being in Paris, by the way. You should most definitely get this book! It’s so amazing. I recommend it to anyone who is interested. & yes, of course, you may add me to your blogroll! ;] Thank you.
@ Trace: Definitely do. :] & let me know if you like it as much as I do.
@ Val: Go check it out, please! I can’t speak enough good things about it. & I promise I’m not getting paid to endorse this. ;] & thank you for adding me.
on Friday, June 27th, 2008 at 9:24 pm:
you’re really making me want to buy this book! i’m a bookworm so i’ll see if i can grab it the next time i’m at the bookstore - it sounds like a fun book :o)
on Saturday, June 28th, 2008 at 6:16 am:
Wow I need to get that book. I’m awful with the multi-tasking thing. I do it all the time. That’s how I almost burned my apartment down…twice.
on Saturday, June 28th, 2008 at 6:36 am:
Huh. That’s a cool approach to think about things and the world around you. I kinda want to check out the book now…
Thanks!
on Saturday, June 28th, 2008 at 10:23 pm:
ooh, that was interesting, thank you for sharing!
on Sunday, June 29th, 2008 at 2:20 pm:
I’ve been finding my inner Frenchgirl (or at least jealousy for real Frenchies) through films lately. Oh the joys of “A Woman is A Woman” and “Contempt….”
on Sunday, June 29th, 2008 at 2:38 pm:
@ Kay: Oh definitely! :] Or you can go to the library & pick it up there. If you get it, let me know how you like it.
@ Jessica: Oh my gosh, twice?! That sounds like me, actually. You don’t know how many near misses I’ve had involving my unorganized multitasking. ;/
@ e.p.: I highly recommend it. :]
@ mw: you’re very welcome!
@ The Clothes Horse: I adore French movies, about as much as I adore reading about France. I have hopes that one day, I’ll watch so many (with subtitles, of course) that I’ll pick up on the language. :] Not that I could use French in California, but it would be nice.
on Monday, June 30th, 2008 at 2:14 pm:
I love the excerpts, must check this out!
on Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 at 2:50 am:
Hey!!! I just discovered your blog (yeah job is boring). I like it and congratulation for ur wedding. So I was reading it when i saw the article about the french girl! I’ am from paris and girls all those compliments is too much!!! But what you asked yourself about ‘what could you be if you were born french” all the french girls asked herself (minimum one time) ‘how could I be if i was born as a american girl”???
I wish i could live in the USA in my life…