Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008
withdrawals.
These last few days have been some of the longest. All because of my diary being down. I’m not even sure if it’s really fixed; it seems to work only when it feels like working. I’ve been itching to write since it’s been broken, but now I’m not sure what I wanted to write about! I feel like my yearning shut up the moment it started working. It’s like this one time where I was craving a cigarette for weeks, months it seemed. I couldn’t stop wanting one & I was beginning to feel pretty restless about it. Finally, Lover brought one home to me, tired of hearing me whine about my withdraws. The moment it was put into my hands… I didn’t want to smoke it anymore. The cigarette stayed on our desktop for a few weeks, before Lover warned me that it was going to grow stale if I didn’t smoke it soon. The cigarette was finally rid of one night; not because I wanted to smoke it (I couldn’t feel up to smoking it even if I tried) but because Lover was dying to. I went outside with him, watching him smoke it, taking a few short drags of it. It was then I decided that I didn’t want to smoke at all. Ever. All of this is particularly confusing because I have never been a smoker.
I am so distracted by our Database Server not working (that’s what’s the trouble, I hear) that although I have the hankering to write something, anything, to make up for all the days I’ve been deprived, I can’t find the words.
Not wanting to waste anymore time for fear that the server might breakdown again (its bipolar tendencies are driving me to want to breakup with the database all together) here was an outfit I wore yesterday, upon seeing my Therapist. I thought it was going to be weather appropriate, but it turned out that it was 80 degrees out, so I was roasting a bit. It was worth it, nonetheless.
Sweater from Wet Seal a long time ago; shirt is vintage from my father’s closet. This was his P.E. garb in high school; skirt by Alice Temperley from Target; the stockings from the 99 cent store, I think; boots from Payless years ago; Om necklace from Lover.
When I can find absolution in my Database Server, my next entry will not be so sporadic.
on Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 at 5:23 pm:
I really looooooooove this adorable outfit. You pull it off so well…
Your pics are so snazzy…