Sunday, March 23rd, 2008
my fellow penguin bretheren.
While Lover is soundly napping on the couch (this boy sleeps more than death itself, I think) I am going to indulge in the stillness of this Saturday evening, while eating my oh-so-delicious tomato, pineapple, onion & olive pizza, which instantly makes me think “pepperoni who?” (Upon being a new vegetarian, the food that was most difficult for me to give up, out of all the meats I ate regularly, was pepperoni. Pepperoni almost cost me my vegetarianism a few times. But I am stronger than you, Pepperoni! After all, you are composed of the leftover scraps of other animals.) The only problem with this slice of pizza was that they mistakenly put mushrooms on it & I despise mushrooms. So before every bite, I inspect the pizza thoroughly, making sure not to unknowingly chomp into a bit of mushroom. Just the thought of it makes me shiver.
We had a good day, which included us running boring errands: smogging my car, to which I told Jonathan that the anticipation of whether or not it will pass is much like taking a pregnancy test; & going to the grocery store. Surprisingly, those 2 tasks took all day. But it was nice just the same. The weather got much hotter today; so hot that sweat began to form between that little pocket between my breasts. Erotic as it sounds (& I’m really not trying to be) it is never pleasant for me. I don’t care where I sweat just as long as it’s no where near that crevice between my breasts. It’s possibly the most irritating thing to have happen on a hot day. For me, at least. Running around in the heat of the sun made me tired very quickly. The kind of tired that only a good Summer’s day could give you; except that I had to keep reminding myself that it’s not summer… but simply global warming.
I started thinking today about how awful it would be for the world to began gravitating closer & closer to the sun. I’ve seen this Twilight Zone episode over a dozen times about several people in an apartment building, trying to survive the intense heat as the sun creeps closer & closer to the Earth. Havoc & chaos is everywhere. There is no water, there is no ice, there are no clouds. Just death defying heat & no surrender from it; even indoors. People are moving trying to get closer to water, but the freeways are jammed packed. & then the air conditioning breaks in this artists home & she basically dies of heatstroke I’m assuming as she watches her paintings slowly melt from the temperature in her apartment. It’s so wicked. Out of every episode I’ve seen, this one scares me the most. For to me, as irrational as that may seem, it could very well happen. I remember thinking a few years ago that the sun seemed to be closer to the Earth. I was driving home & it seemed like the sun was right in front of my vision, but it was terribly bright, almost blinding. I got home & told my mom sarcastically, I think the Sun is moving closer to the Earth. Expecting her to laugh along with me, she just calmly replied “It seems that way because of global warming.” I didn’t believe her, so researched it myself. & so began my semi-obsession with the ozone layer & harmful air conditions & the ice melting in Antarctica, affecting the polar bears & the penguins. At one point, I remember that I almost had to stop caring as much because I started literally weeping for the polar bears & the penguins. I would start to speak about how horrible it is that people think that Global Warming is a myth (this being several years ago) & recite what I heard on the news or what I read on some website. Tears would well up in my eyes at the thought of those poor, innocent penguins in danger, as though they were blood relatives! This was in my old town & the reaction I got from people wasn’t sympathy it was a cynical “yeah, right” so to speak. Thus, another reason I simply had to live my desert town. In regards to the penguins & polar bears & other Arctic life, I still feel very strongly about them & the effects of global warming. But there is this part of me that shuts off the reality just slightly so that I don’t become so emotionally involved that I start actually trying to adopt a penguin, as if it’s the only thing I could do. I even find myself completely involved in the mistreatment of animals. Just one story about a dog that was malled by a mountain lion — which happened around this area several months ago, believe it or not — or the site of a dead kitty on the side of the road gets my blood boiling & my eyes watery. Sometimes I wonder why it is I have to be so damn compassionate about things I cannot fully change forever. It can be quite hard carrying other’s burdens without their knowing I am doing so. Then again, I put it on myself. No one ever asks me to.
Truthfully, I don’t know where I am going with all of this. My mind is simply doing the typing while I’m sitting back & enjoying the ride, or so it seems. It’s nearing 7:30pm & I am anxious to wake up my husband so that we can spend the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch, maybe sipping some coffee (our most favorite thing to do in the wee hours) & watch a sad movie.
